Sunday 25 November 2012

Tips To Getting Your Life In Order

Personal development can do a lot for a person, one thing being to establish order from chaos in a life that seems to have gotten completely out of control. Many things can pull you in different directions and get your life off-track; it's all up to you to get it going in the right direction again, and the following tips will help you to do that.
  1. List things that are not going right. If there are toxic people in your life, bad habits holding you back, or you've just been dealt a few hard blows from fate, write about them. Writing will help you put them in perspective and brainstorm solutions. Identify everything you are not pleased with, no matter how long your list gets.

  2. Counteract every problem with a solution. What are you going to do about each of these things holding you back and causing you problems? Map out a plan to throw a counter-punch back at everything. Reorganize your time to compensate for the extra work ahead of you, and make a point of resolving issues; you will never get anywhere if you don't.

  3. List your priorities. Aside from things weighing you down at the moment, what is most important to you in life? What are you hoping more than anything to achieve? This is your list of ideal goals and where you truly want your program of personal development to take you. The sky is the limit if you are prepared and if you believe you can do it.

  4. Write out strategies toward achievement. Do you need extra courses in business to reach your goals? Maybe a life-coach who can talk you up and into the lifestyle you've always wanted? Whatever will facilitate your success, write it out like a simple "to-do" list and place it in a highly visible location.

  5. Reward yourself along the way. After the first few accomplishments, you have a lot to be proud of. Getting a life back in order is no easy task, nor is sticking to your life's plan! Provide yourself with small rewards like a weekend spa trip or that entertainment system you've been wanting. If a budget is involved, give yourself the gift of "me time" or guilt-less enjoyment of something that serves no other purpose than rejuvenating and exhilarating you.

  6. Rinse and repeat. Once you are on track with life's goals, you've got to set new ones. As you reach each one, think about the next accomplishment you should be reaching for, and set yourself up for success with it. Again, writing things down can give you a very good perspective and means of formulating a plan. If ever you find yourself losing control of life, quickly re-examine everything and fight to get it back!

When life is out of control, we just can't be happy or really accomplish much of anything outside of the basic eating and sleeping routine. Get your life back in order and take control over your destiny; the longer you put if off, the harder it will be!
Personal development is used to achieve different types of goals in life, some personal and some professional and career development internship can help you in professional life.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7386214

Be Positive! Live Longer!

Each new day brings its own problems, situations, and worries that could alter our peaceful lives but not everybody has the ability to bear it. Some of us will see it as a heavy burden to carry and others will see it as an opportunity to obtain something positive out of it. The difference between these two types of persons is called positive thinking or positive attitude against an unpleasant situation!
If you feel that you are one of those persons who lack of positive thinking, the good news is that you can achieve it and master it. It's not an easy task, but it is possible. Drop by drop.
Even though positive thinking is associated with self-control, in this article we'll focus our attention on how to create a positive thinking and the benefits it brings about.
Positive Thinking
Our mind has been compared to a big stage where good or bad characters (thoughts) could come to be the main characters in each play. Even though, as a stage director, you prefer the good and positive characters in the scene, sometimes you'll notice that unexpectedly bad personages will also appear capturing your attention and getting over the good ones if an immediate action is not taken. So, what could you do?
- Always remember that everything "IS" in your mind and you can control it no matter how difficult you think this is. After all, you are the stage director, aren't you? This is not about climbing a wall o jumping over a river. This is about controlling your thoughts; the foundation of your feelings and the engine of your acts.
- Identify and write down on a paper a list of the areas of your life that you typically think in a negative way and start analyzing in which way you could approach them in a positive way. Organize that list by putting in first place the easy ones. Don't try to change all of them in one shot or one day. This is a new habit for you. You need to adapt your mind to this new concept or way of thinking. Once you have conquered the first one on the list, you will probably be more confident about yourself to overcome the second one, and so on.
- Check your thoughts periodically. Evaluate them. If you feel that you are improving them, this is excellent! Keep going and don't stop! But, if you feel they are still in square one, don't give-up, don't lower your arms, just try harder. You can do it!
- Change the way of approaching different situations.
Instead of saying "It's too complicated," you could say "I'll deal with it from a different point of view."
Instead of saying "No one bothers communicating with me," you could say "I'll see if I can open the channels of communications."
As we mentioned before, this is new habit for you, so practice, practice, practice until your brain get used to it.
- Smile! Show your teeth! You surely have a beautiful smile.
- Be open to humor. Remember that a happy face is always contagious. You are helping not only yourself but also those who are around you. You never know who could be in your same situation.
- Eat healthy. Engage in physical activities. Go to bed early and get up early. These simple rules we'll give you all the energy you need to go throughout the day with a positive mind.
- Get involved with positive people even though it means changing your social life. Don't take the risk of having to start all over again.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7383113

Thursday 22 November 2012

The Power of Focusing on the Good Things

Focusing on the good things in your life is something simple to do, but to do it consistently is the hard part. What are you focusing on today? Is there anything positive that you can think of that happened to you? This is not going to be about just a simple gratitude list. This article will focus on really looking at all the good things that you have in your life now. It is difficult to focus on the good things if you are too busy complaining about your life. As you complain, you will attract more things to complain about. But if you came here to read this, you are in the right place. Especially since the end of 2012 is approaching as I write this, the goal is to finish off the year in a positive and productive way.
If you can think of anything positive that happened to you today, you are off to a good start. But if you continually focus on the negative things or why things don't work out then I've got good news for you. You can change these thoughts so that they become more positive. I'm not saying that you can succeed at this 100% of the time. But you can be positive most of the time. The late John Wooden once said "Things turn out the best for the people that make the best out of the way things turn out." This quote is one of his most famous and it is so true. The happiest people don't necessarily have everything. They just make the best out of what they have. Maybe you enjoy working in your garden at home. If that's the case then you have another good thing to focus on.
I am not a life and wellness coach but I have read extensively about this topic and I am here to help you out. When we are in school no one really teaches us how to accomplish goals that we put our mind to. We have to figure them out. The way to figure out how to accomplish goals differs from person to person. No one does it the same way as everybody else. But as long as you have goals to meet you have a purpose for living. There is no point in just living life to exist for the majority of it and be depressed. Life is a gift that we have all been blessed with. We have been given our own talents, skills, and abilities and we have to use them. You are using the full power of your brain when you put your potential to good use.
Focusing on what is good in your life is what is going to make you feel better. It will also give your mind, body, and spirit reasons to enjoy your life now. Focusing on the good things that you have creates a vibration that sends signals out into the Universe.
These signals send back to you whatever your predominant thoughts and feelings are. So if your thoughts or feelings are about negative things, then that is what you will attract more of into your life. Because that is the vibration you would be on so the Universe would have no choice but to respond that way.
Some of you may say "Ara, I can't think of anything positive that happened to me today. I have too many issues in my life." Every person has their issues from time to time. Our lives are not total bliss all the time. Even my life isn't always total bliss. This is particularly true when you have mood swings or depression. It seems like you are fighting an uphill battle to calm your nerves. I speak from personal experience because I'm having some anxiety too. But too much anxiety paralyzes you and stops you in your tracks. Don't deny that you may be experiencing anxiety. Instead, acknowledge it and if it's severe enough, seek professional help as soon as possible.
I have had my struggles having to deal with a non-existent job market along with millions of other people. Let's admit the reality that the labor market in many parts of the world has been affected by the worldwide economic slowdown. If you are currently out of work and feeling hopeless, you are not alone. It may be many years before we see any recovery in the labor market.
My point is that you have to try and come up with positive things that happen to you each day. They are in this world and positive things do happen to us. If you are able to read this, consider that a positive thing. If you have a roof over your head, that is a positive thing. If you had a nice and relaxed conversation with a friend, that is also a positive thing. If someone smiled at you and asked you how your day was, that is a positive thing right there. If you have the arms to hug a loved one, that is another positive thing there. If you have the ability to swim at the beach with your legs, that is a blessing. Every day can be a blessing if we see it that way. But if you want to get more specific, every day presents an adventure for us. We can either make it a good adventure or we can make it bad if we focus on the wrong things.
Chances are that your life is better than what you think it is. You are wealthier and better off than at least 1.6 billion people who do not have enough food to eat. If you are living in a developed country with fewer social problems then you are very blessed. You are wealthy compared to many other people around the world. Doesn't that make you feel better? I know you may not have what you want right now but no one has everything they could want. If they did, then there would be nothing to look forward to. You have a very good life especially if you have an Internet connection and you can read this. You also have a good life if you can properly clothe and feed yourself. Isn't your life good?
I don't have all the answers to everything. But I do know that a positive attitude is your best line of defense. I know it is hard sometimes to focus on the good when there is so much negativity in the world. Times are tough right now for many people. But if all that you are focusing on is how hard everything is then you will create a harder life for yourself. In spite of the troubles with the economy, you do have things to look forward to. Think about those things and I suggest that you write them down. Think of as many good things as you can. They don't even need to be big or significant things. Try to appreciate everything down to the smallest detail. That's what I try to focus on. I also try to focus on the things that I can control and not on the things that I cannot control. We spend so much time and effort worrying over things that we have no control over. For instance, as a writer, you can control what content that you choose to write about but you cannot control how your work will be received. The audience you are writing for may enjoy the work or they may not enjoy the work. All you can do is to put your best foot forward and do the best that you can to create good content and leave the rest up to your higher powers.
The more that you focus on the good things in life, the more good things will come to you. Your subconscious mind is one of the most powerful things that you have. As you focus on something good, your mind goes to work and brings to you similar good things. The Buddha once said: "All that we are is the result of what we have thought." Use your mental powers to create positive change in your life. I know that I will strive for positive changes. Will you do the same?
The above quote is a complex quote and it was said over 2,000 years ago but it is actually true. The more that you think about something, the more energy that you feed it. So if you think about how bad your life is, then you will create more situations and circumstances that will make you feel bad. Our subconscious mind creates our life based on how we think, feel and believe. So start focusing on the good things consistently and you will see how your life will change.
You may not get a job tomorrow but if you hang in there and be positive, things will get better. We would like to think that the economy in the United States will get better but there are some of you that may feel like you have no hope and that there is nowhere to go. All of these anxieties and fears are understandable. Results take time to manifest. Remember that many things will change with time. Our beliefs, interests, and attitudes change because we change. That is part of the life cycle. I find my musical interests are changing and I cannot tolerate music with angry, depressing or bad lyrics anymore. Everything on this Earth that we possess is impermanent. They do not last.
The jobs we have, the money we make and the car that we drive don't last forever. But how we live this life helps us to establish a good legacy that we can pass on to future generations. I haven't had a real job in five years but I know that I am not alone. I try to focus on what I can control. I choose to focus on the good things and I don't like to complain. I love to appreciate what I have now. Try as much as you can to focus on what is good in life. You will feel better if you do that. This can also be known as a frequency shifter.
A negative frequency leads to a negative or bad future so make sure to be on a positive frequency always. Express gratitude for the ones that love you and the ones that you love. Love as many people as you can, treat them with kindness and respect and leave the rest up to the universe, God or your guardian angel. They will take care of the rest for you. Try this concept. It may work for you because it has worked for me.
So the answer is a simple yet profound one. If you focus on the good, your life will get better. There are many people out there that think this is not the advice that will work for them. They may feel that they have tried everything in their power to make things work out. But in reality, what they have done is tried to outsmart the universe and to try and prove that they are more knowledgeable than the universe. The truth is that none of us are smarter than the universe. The universe always knows more than we do. So you have to trust the universe. It always knows what it is doing if you have given it the right instructions beforehand. Never underestimate the power of focusing on the good things in life. There are many good things out there if we focus on them. I was talking to a friend of mine about this. I know that you may have lots of stuff going on in your life but you have to make a choice. And that choice is whether you want to continue to be miserable and focus on all that is wrong in your life or whether you want to change that line of thinking and focus on what is good around you. So what is it going to be? I'm sure that if you got to this article that you want to focus on all that is good around you and you should be proud of yourself. Good Luck!!

Developing Winning Attitude

Everything you get in life is about attitude. Life gives to you exactly what you feel about it. If you believe money only goes to those it likes, or feels you are among those it hates, you will never have it because your attitude is rejecting it. Your attitude determines what get attracted to you.
The difference between success and failure, wealth and poverty, and attraction and rejection is attitude. You will be happy to know that you can dump negative attitude and develop positive attitude in many areas.
Your attitude towards life
There was a story of two people who were told to give their assessment of water a glass cup filled to have. One saw it as half-filled while the other saw it as half-down. The difference between the two of them is attitude. The first person's attitude is positive; he believed the water is going up. But the second person's attitude is negative; he saw the water going down (almost finished).
Like the water in the glass cup, life presents equal opportunities to everyone. Its individuals that determine what you get out of it.
You've got to develop the right attitude by creating your own environment emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
Communicate to your mind daily, telling yourself the best is prepared for you in life, and you will get nothing but the best.
2. Your attitude towards people
Having right attitude towards other people is very important because you need good relationship to get the best out of life.
It has been said often that, "no man is an island". That is, you can never go far in life by keeping to yourself.
Research carried out by some relationship experts revealed that; the money you make in any endeavor is determined only 12.5% by knowledge and 87.5% by your ability to deal with people.
Don't be hostile to people, be friendly and you will be surprised how much you are loved.
3. Your attitude towards money.
Money has eyes and wings. This is the reason it goes only those who have receptive attitude towards it, and move away from those who have hatred for it. (Not because they don't like money but because they feel money didn't like them). Could that be the reason money has not come to you?
Before you can be rich, you must have it in your belief system that you can be. Not thinking about being rich alone, you must also think of how much of it you want to acquire within a targeted period of time, and pursue it honourably.
4. Your attitude towards starting a project.
Another area you have to develop a positive attitude is on your approach to starting new things. Some people never start anything in life because they feel they cannot complete it if they start. That is their belief.
If you see any task or project as insurmountable it will remain so. But if you see yourself having the ability to face it you will achieve great success on it. After all, some people might have done that kind of project before, that should be a clue that you too can do it. No matter how difficult a task might appear to be, tell yourself, if others can do it I can do it too and you will be surprise at how much success you will achieve.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7367101

Developing Winning Attitude

Everything you get in life is about attitude. Life gives to you exactly what you feel about it. If you believe money only goes to those it likes, or feels you are among those it hates, you will never have it because your attitude is rejecting it. Your attitude determines what get attracted to you.
The difference between success and failure, wealth and poverty, and attraction and rejection is attitude. You will be happy to know that you can dump negative attitude and develop positive attitude in many areas.
Your attitude towards life
There was a story of two people who were told to give their assessment of water a glass cup filled to have. One saw it as half-filled while the other saw it as half-down. The difference between the two of them is attitude. The first person's attitude is positive; he believed the water is going up. But the second person's attitude is negative; he saw the water going down (almost finished).
Like the water in the glass cup, life presents equal opportunities to everyone. Its individuals that determine what you get out of it.
You've got to develop the right attitude by creating your own environment emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.
Communicate to your mind daily, telling yourself the best is prepared for you in life, and you will get nothing but the best.
2. Your attitude towards people
Having right attitude towards other people is very important because you need good relationship to get the best out of life.
It has been said often that, "no man is an island". That is, you can never go far in life by keeping to yourself.
Research carried out by some relationship experts revealed that; the money you make in any endeavor is determined only 12.5% by knowledge and 87.5% by your ability to deal with people.
Don't be hostile to people, be friendly and you will be surprised how much you are loved.
3. Your attitude towards money.
Money has eyes and wings. This is the reason it goes only those who have receptive attitude towards it, and move away from those who have hatred for it. (Not because they don't like money but because they feel money didn't like them). Could that be the reason money has not come to you?
Before you can be rich, you must have it in your belief system that you can be. Not thinking about being rich alone, you must also think of how much of it you want to acquire within a targeted period of time, and pursue it honourably.
4. Your attitude towards starting a project.
Another area you have to develop a positive attitude is on your approach to starting new things. Some people never start anything in life because they feel they cannot complete it if they start. That is their belief.
If you see any task or project as insurmountable it will remain so. But if you see yourself having the ability to face it you will achieve great success on it. After all, some people might have done that kind of project before, that should be a clue that you too can do it. No matter how difficult a task might appear to be, tell yourself, if others can do it I can do it too and you will be surprise at how much success you will achieve.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7367101

Sunday 18 November 2012

Simple Ways to Live Happy

They say that the mind is a very powerful tool; and indeed this has been proven in countless occasions in our lives. The truth is, the power of the mind is limitless- as our thoughts indirectly, and yet undeniably, affects our careers, our relationships- our lives. The life we live every day is set into motion by our thoughts. Our attitude, our reaction are reflections, if not manifestations of what we think: what we think we want; what we think is right, what we think we deserve.
So how do we take control of our days with our thoughts and how do we set the direction of our lives to the pace and direction we want? Here are 3 simple ways to start and go through your day right.
1. Think positive. This can mean a couple of things and this generally differs on the circumstance. Take for example case 1: when something bad happened the previous night, we have this tendency to dwell on it, sleep on it and carry the negativity of yesterday to the morning after. In this case, thinking positive would mean waking up and thinking how today could be the day where things will work out or that today could be the day when you will figure out a way to solve something that has been bothering you. Case 2: when you have had a good time the previous day, carry over that feeling of fulfillment, that lighthearted state of being to the day ahead of you.
2. Learn the art of turning lemons to lemonade. This principle applies to our thoughts as well. Of course, we can't help but have negative thoughts. The trick is to learn how to convert these negative thoughts into positive ones. Take for example case 3: You have found a job in a good company. You are being compensated and the benefits are really attractive. Then after a few days into your job, you realize that you have a bi polar boss who seems to enjoy yelling at everyone at all hours of the day. Instead of cussing and feeling very negative about it, think of it as a learning experience wherein you will learn how to successfully deal and communicate with these type of people.
3. Learn to express negative feelings in a productive way. A negative state of being is caused by an emotion: it may be anger, discontent, annoyance or hate. But since all emotions can be channeled, learn to direct your emotions in ways that can help you become a better person. Take for example case 4: You are feeling very discontented by the way your financial state of living is. Instead of dwelling on how sad you are thinking about all the things you cannot afford, think of the countless of ways you can change your finances. Take a second job, do online work, learn a new skill, learn a new language- become more than you already are and do all that you can to change the cause of your discontent.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7374874

The Beauty of Being a Beginner

You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you can actually learn to like being a beginner, the world will open up to you. ~Barbara Sher
When was the last time you were a beginner at something... and actually enjoyed it?
Think about it... no one, I mean NO ONE likes being the new guy at work! How many times have you hesitated asking a question or trying something new because you didn't want to appear foolish or inexperienced?
Have you ever avoided doing something new because of uncertainty, the risk of embarrassment or the chance you might not be able to do it as well as other people?
There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel confident and self-assured, unless it prevents you from growing. The need to always appear in control and knowledgeable can create unnecessary stress, prevent you from taking advantage of opportunities to learn new skills, and potentially suck the joy right out of any efforts you may undertake to change your life for the better.
Cultivating a beginner's mindset is about embracing limitless possibilities.
If you have dreams of doing great things, of mastering the skills to empower you to avoid getting sidetracked by life's inevitable challenges and detours... of creating a more meaningful life that is aligned with your values and dreams, it's time to open your mind to the beauty of being a beginner.
  • Beginners have nothing to prove. Embracing your status as a beginner effectively eliminates the stress of worrying about being 'right' all the time; which means you'll be more confident when it comes to asking important questions. You are also more inclined to be kind to other beginners as a result of your experience and new found appreciation for the opportunities and benefits.

  • Beginners have the freedom to try new things, change their minds, and even fail. Having the freedom to try new things and change direction is powerful stuff because you never know when you may discover marvelous new skills or passions. In fact, achieving meaningful success in life requires a certain amount of failure, usually a lot. Of course no one likes to talk about the 'F' word but ask any highly successful person, and they will tell you they failed frequently and spectacularly to get where they are. Remember, in the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few.

  • It's human nature to be kind and forgiving to beginners. We exhibit more patience and (most of us) go out of our way to be helpful to beginners. We understand it takes courage to be willing to grow and we tend to be freer with encouragement and praise than we would be with those who are more experienced and for whom we have higher expectations.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
~Steve Jobs

As comforting as it may be to feel confident and secure, snug in the various roles you fill in your life story, there is unimaginable beauty and freedom to be found when you have the courage to step outside your comfort zone and open yourself to the opportunity of being a beginner, exploring the possibilities available - now- to create your own life experience by living your life by design...


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7380777

Saturday 17 November 2012

Setting Clear Goals

H.L. Hunt, a man who rose from a bankrupt cotton farmer in the 1930s to a multi-billionaire when he died in 1974, was once asked during a TV interview what advice he could give to others who wanted to be financially successful. He said only two things are required. First, you must decide exactly what it is you want to accomplish. Most people never do that in their entire lives. And secondly, you must determine what price you'll have to pay to get it, and then resolve to pay that price.

Clear Goals Are Essential

Clear goals and objectives are essential to the success of any business, and this is no less true of building your own career. If you don't take the time to get really clear about exactly what it is you're trying to accomplish, then you're forever doomed to spend your life achieving the goals of those who do. In the absence of a clear direction for your life, you will either meander aimlessly or you will build a career that you don't feel good about. You may make some money, and you may do some interesting work, but the end result will not resemble anything you ever made a conscious decision to build, and ultimately you will be left with the sinking feeling that maybe you took a wrong turn somewhere along the way. Do you ever look at your career and think to yourself, "How on earth did I get here?"
If setting goals is so critically important, then why is it that so few people take the time to define exactly where they want to go? Part of the reason is a lack of knowledge about how to set clear goals. You can go through years of schooling and never receive any instruction on goal setting at all. A failure to understand the immense importance of establishing clear goals is also common. But those who truly know what they want often outperform everyone else by an enormous degree.
A frequent deterrent to goal setting is the fear of making a mistake. Teddy Roosevelt once said, "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." Setting virtually any goal at all is better than drifting aimlessly with no clear direction. The best way I know to guarantee failure is to avoid making clear, committed decisions. Every day is already a mistake if you don't know where you're going. You're probably spending most of your time working to achieve other people's goals. The local fast food restaurant, TV advertisers, and the stockholders of the businesses you patronize are all very happy for that. If you don't decide what you really want, then you've decided to hand your future over to the whims of others, and that's always a mistake. By taking hold of the reins yourself and deciding where you'd like to go, you gain a tremendous sense of control that most people never experience in their entire lives.
Many people assume that because they have a direction, they must therefore have goals, but this is not the case and merely creates the illusion of progress. "Making more money" and "building a business" are not goals. A goal is a specific, clearly defined, measurable state. An example of the difference between a direction and a goal is the difference between the compass direction of northeast and the top of the Eiffel Tower in France. One is merely a direction; the other is a definite location.

Define Goals in Binary Terms

One critical aspect of goals is that they must be defined in binary terms. At any point in time, if I were to ask you if you had achieved your goal yet, you must be able to give me a definitive "yes" or "no" answer; "maybe" is not an option. You cannot say with absolute certainty if you've fully completed the outcome of "making more money," but you can give me a definitive binary answer as to whether or not you are currently standing on top of the Eiffel Tower. An example of a clear business goal would be that your gross income for the month of April this year is $5000 or more. That is something you can calculate precisely, and at the end of the month, you can give a definitive answer as to whether or not your goal has been achieved. That is the level of clarity you need in order to form a goal that your mind can lock onto and move towards rapidly.

Be Detailed

Be as detailed as possible when setting goals. Give specific numbers, dates, and times. Make sure that each of your goals is measurable. Either you achieved it, or you didn't. Define your goals as if you already know what's going to happen. It's been said that the best way to predict the future is to create it.

Commit Goals to Writing

Goals must be in writing in the form of positive, present-tense, personal affirmations. A goal that is not committed to writing is just a fantasy. Set goals for what you want, not for what you don't want. Your subconscious mind can lock onto a clearly defined goal only if the goal is defined in positive terms. If you put your focus on what you don't want instead of what you do, you're likely to attract exactly what it is you're trying to avoid. Phrase your goals as if they are already achieved. Instead of saying, "I will earn $30,000 this year," phrase it in the present tense: "I earn $30,000 this year." If you phrase your goals in future terms, you are sending a message to your subconscious mind to forever keep that outcome in the future, just beyond your grasp. Avoid wishy-washy words like "probably," "should," "could," "would," "might," or "may" when forming your goals. Such words foster doubt as to whether you can really achieve what you are after. And finally, make your goals personal. You cannot set goals for other people, such as, "A publisher will publish my software by the end of the year." Phrase it like this instead: "I sign a North American retail publishing contract this year that earns me at least $50,000 by the end of the year."

Objectify Subjective Goals

What if you need to set subjective goals, such as improving your own level of self-discipline? How do you phrase such goals in binary terms? To solve this problem, I use a rating scale of 1 to 10. For instance, if you want to improve your self-discipline, ask yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate your current level of self-discipline? Then set a goal to achieve a certain specific rating by a certain date. This allows you to measure your progress and know with a high degree of certainty whether or not you've actually achieved your goal.

Goal Setting Is an Activity

Setting clear goals is not a passive act. It doesn't happen automatically. You must take direct conscious action in order to make it so. Everything counts, and nothing is neutral. You are either moving towards your goals, or you're moving away from them. If you do nothing or if you act without clarity, then you are almost certainly a victim of "being outgoaled." In other words you are spending your time working on other people's goals without even knowing it. You are happily working to enrich your landlord, other businesses, advertisers, stockholders, etc. Each day you spend working without a sense of clarity about where you're headed is a step backwards for you. If you don't actively tend your garden, then weeds will grow automatically. Weeds don't need to be watered or fertilized. They just grow by themselves in the absence of an attentive gardener. Similarly, in the absence of conscious and directed action on your part, your work and your life will automatically become full of weeds. You don't need to do anything at all to make this happen. And when you finally get around to taking a serious look at where you are and where you want to go, the first thing you'll have to do is pull out all those weeds.
Reading this article will do absolutely nothing for you unless you turn it into some form of physical action. The best thinking unfortunately gives you zero results. In reality, you won't even be paid a penny for your thoughts. You can have the most creative idea in the world, but ideas themselves are utterly worthless. You only get results from the physical actions you take, never for the ideas you have. In order to get any kind of tangible results at all, you must act on an idea. You must communicate it, build it, implement it, and make it real.

Clarity Is a Choice

If you've been running your career in an unfocused manner, just waking up each morning and seeing what happens, then it is absolutely crucial that you take the time to decide and write down exactly where it is you want to go. How much longer will you continue to climb the ladder of success, only to realize too late that it was leaning against the wrong building? Just pick a point in the future, whether it's six months from now or five years from now, and spend a few hours writing out a clear description of where you want to be at that time. I know many people who aren't sure where they want to go, so they avoid committing anything to writing in order to "keep their options open." What would happen if you pursued that attitude to its logical conclusion? If you always kept your options open and never made any firm commitments, then you'd never get promoted, start your own business, get married, have a family, move to that new home, etc. except to the degree that someone else made that decision for you.
I used to have a friend like this, who still hasn't decided what he wants to do with his life. He yields control of his life to others without even realizing it, simply because he's unwilling to take the time to define a vision for his own life out of fear of making the wrong choice. His life is ruled by others who push their goals onto him, which he accepts by default. Ask yourself if you're in the same boat. If a friend of yours became totally committed to getting you to change something in your life at random -- your career, your living situation, your relationship, etc. -- could s/he do it just by being absolutely certain and committed that it's the right thing for you? Could a business associate come along and radically alter your plans for the week without you ever deciding consciously that such a change is consistent with your goals? We all suffer from problems like these to the degree that we fail to set clear goals for ourselves. There is a big difference between recognizing and acting on a true opportunity and being knocked off course without making a conscious decision to shift gears.
Waiting for something to inspire you and hoping that the perfect outcome will just fall into your lap is nothing but a fantasy. Clear decision making doesn't happen passively; you actually have to physically put in the time to make it happen. If you don't have clear goals simply because you don't know what you want, then sit down and actively decide what you want. That sense of knowing what you want isn't going to just come to you in a form of divine inspiration. Clarity is a choice, not an accident or a gift. Clarity doesn't come to you -- you have to go to it. Not setting goals is the same thing as deciding to be a slave to the goals of others.

Clear Goals Sharpen Present-Moment Decisions

Your reality will not match your vision exactly. That's not the point. The point is for your vision to allow you to make clear daily decisions that keep you moving in the direction of your goals. When a commercial airliner flies from one city to another, it is off course over 90% of the time, but it keeps measuring its progress and adjusting its heading again and again. Goal setting works the same way. Maintain a clear list of goals not because that's actually where you'll end up but because it will give with tremendous certainty in deciding what you need to do today. When someone contacts you with an "opportunity" out of the blue, you'll know whether it's a real opportunity or a waste of time. The long view sharpens the short view.
As you begin moving towards your goals, you'll gain new knowledge along the way, and you'll have to adapt your plans as you go. You may also change your vision if you get partway there and decide it's not quite what you really want. Ill-formed goals are still far superior to no goals at all.
I was once told by someone that I should end each day by crossing it off my calendar and saying out loud, "There goes another day of my life, never to return again." Try this for yourself, and notice how much it sharpens your focus. When you end a day with the feeling that you would have lived it the same if you had the chance to repeat it, you gain a sense of gratitude that helps you focus on what's really important to you. When you end the day with a feeling of regret or loss, you gain the awareness to try a different approach the next day.
You'll see a measurable difference in your life the very first day you establish clear, committed goals, even if your first few attempts aren't perfect. You'll be able to make decisions much more rapidly because you'll see how they'll either move you towards or away from your goals. On the eve of his death, Walt Disney had a reporter crawl into bed with him so he could share his vision for Disney World, six years before its completion. When Disney World finally opened, another reporter commented to Walt's brother, Roy, "It's too bad Walt did not live to see this." Roy replied, "Walt saw it first. That’s why we are seeing it now." Clear goals allow you to achieve the first half of H.L. Hunt's success formula. By deciding exactly what you want to accomplish, committing it to writing, and reviewing it on a daily basis, you bring your goals into reality with the power of your focus.

Source: Steve Pavlina

Cultivate Burning Desire

When asked during an interview how he managed to reach the top as a professional bodybuilder and Hollywood actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger replied with a single word, "Drive!" All great success ultimately begins with an idea, but what makes ideas become reality is the fuel of human desire. An idea by itself can give you a temporary feeling of inspiration, but burning desire is what gets you through all the perspiration necessary to overcome the inevitable obstacles along the way.
Take a moment to think about the goals you've set for yourself. (You have set goals, haven't you? If not, go read the article on setting clear goals.) How committed are you to achieving these goals? Under what conditions would you give up? What if you could significantly increase your desire to achieve these goals? What if you wanted them so badly that you knew with absolute certainty that you would absolutely, positively never ever give up? When you are truly 100% committed to reaching your goals, you move from hoping to knowing. If you want something badly enough, then quitting is simply not an option. You either find a way or make one. You pay the price, whatever it takes.
Those with an intense, burning desire to achieve their goals are often referred to as being "driven." But is this special quality reserved only for a privileged few? Certainly not. With the right approach, anyone can cultivate a deep, burning desire within themselves and move to a state of total commitment, knowing with certainty that success is as inevitable as the sunrise.
So how do you cultivate burning desire? You begin with an outside-in approach, altering your environment in ways that will strengthen your resolve while eliminating doubt. If you take the time to do it right, you'll establish a positive feedback cycle, such that your desire will continue to increase on a daily basis.
Here are eight steps you can take to cultivate burning desire to achieve any goal you set for yourself:

1. Burn the ships.

I'm not going to pull any punches with this one. If your goals are really important enough to you, then you can start by burning the proverbial ships, such that you have no choice but to press on. For instance, if you want to launch your own business, you can begin by making the commitment to quitting your job. Write a letter of resignation, put it in a stamped envelope addressed to your boss, and give it to a trusted friend with firm instructions to mail the letter if you haven't quit your job by a certain date.
One Las Vegas casino manager made the decision to quit smoking. He didn't feel he had the personal willpower to do it alone, so he took out a billboard on the Las Vegas Strip with his photo on it along with the words, "If you catch me smoking, I'll pay you $100,000!" Was he able to quit smoking? You bet! (Ok, bad pun.) This is called willpower leveraging. You use a small bit of willpower to establish a consequence that will virtually compel you to keep your commitment. As Andrew Carnegie once said, "Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket!"
In the classic book The Art of War, Sun Tzu notes that soldiers fight the most ferociously when they believe they're fighting to the death. A good general knows that when attacking an opposing force, it's important to create the illusion of a potential escape route for the enemy, so they won't fight as hard. What escape routes are you keeping open that are causing you not to fight as hard?
If you don't burn those ships, you are sending the message to your subconscious mind that it's ok to quit. And when the going gets tough, as it inevitably does for any worthwhile goal, you will quit. If you really want to achieve your goals, then you've got to burn those ships to the ground, and scatter the ashes. If you're thinking that the average person won't do this, you're right -- that's why they're average.

2. Fill your environment with desire boosters.

Let's say one of your important goals is to lose weight. Get some poster board, and make your own posters that say, "I weigh X pounds," where X is your goal weight, and put them up around your house. Change your screensaver to a text message that says the same thing (or to some equally motivational imagery). Get some magazines, cut out pictures of people who have bodies similar to what you'd like to have, and put them up around your house. Cut out pictures of healthy food that looks good to you, and post those around your kitchen. If you work in an office, then alter your office in the same manner. Don't worry about what your coworkers will think, and just do it! They may poke a little fun at you at first, but they'll also begin to see how committed you are.

3. Surround yourself with positive people.

Make friends with people who will encourage you on the path to your goals, and find ways to spend more time with them. Share your goals only with people who will support you, not those who will respond with cynicism or indifference. If you want to lose weight, for instance, get yourself into a gym, and start befriending those who are already in great shape. You'll find that their attitudes become infectious, and you'll start believing that you can do it too. Meeting people who've lost one hundred pounds or more can be extremely motivating. If you want to start a new business, join the local chamber of commerce or a trade association. Do whatever it takes to make new friends who will help you keep your commitment.
Although this can be difficult for some people, you also need to fire the negative people from your life. I once read that you can see your future just by looking at the six people with whom you spend the most time. If you don't like what you see, then change those people. There's no honor in remaining loyal to people who expect you to fail. One of the reasons people fail to start their own businesses, for instance, is that they spend most of their time associating with other employees. The way out of this trap is to start spending a lot more time associating with business owners, such as by joining a trade association. Mindsets are contagious. So spend your time with people whose mindsets are worth catching.

4. Feed your mind with empowering information on a daily basis.

Inspirational books and audio programs are one of the best fuel sources for cultivating desire. If you want to quit smoking, read a dozen books written by ex-smokers on how to quit the habit. If you want to start a business, then start devouring business books. Go to seminars on occasion. I advise that you feed your mind with some form of motivational material (books, articles, audio programs) for at least fifteen minutes a day. This will continually recharge your batteries and keep your desire impenetrably strong.
When you absorb material created by an extremely passionate person, you'll often find yourself feeling more passionate as well. A great book I read was Pour Your Heart Into It by Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks. As I read the book, I was absolutely amazed at how someone could be so fanatically enthusiastic about coffee. Other enthusiasm-building authors/speakers I highly recommend are Harvey Mackay and Zig Ziglar.

5. Replace sources of negative energy with positive energy.

Take an inventory of all the sensory inputs into your life that affect your attitude -- what you read, what you watch on TV, the cleanliness of your home, etc. Note which inputs influence you negatively, and strive to replace them with positive inputs. I'll give you some good places to start. First, avoid watching TV news -- it's overwhelmingly negative. Do you really need to hear about the woman who was mauled to death by her neighbor's dog? Fill that time with positive inputs instead, like motivational and educational audio programs. If you like to watch movies, then watch movies that are full of positive energy, such as light-hearted comedies and stories of triumph over adversity. Avoid dark, tragic movies that leave you feeling empty afterwards. Dump the horror books, and replace them with humor books. Spend more time laughing and less time worrying. If you have a messy desk, clean it up! If you have young kids or grandkids, spend some time playing with them. Some of this may sound a bit corny, but it will really help increase your overall motivation. If you have a hard time motivating yourself, chances are that your life is overflowing with too many sources of negativity. It's far better to happily achieve than it is to feel you must achieve in order to be happy.

6. Dress for success.

Whenever you pass by a mirror, which is probably several times a day, you get an instant dose of image reinforcement. So what image are you currently reinforcing? Would you dress any differently if your goals were already achieved? Would you sport a different hairstyle? Would you shower a bit more often?
Although for years I enjoyed the ripped jeans and T-shirt look, I noted that when I visualized myself in the future, having achieved certain goals, I was dressed a lot more nicely. With some experimentation I found a style of clothing that looks professional and is also comfortable. So I gradually donated my old clothes to charity and replaced my wardrobe with clothes that fit the new identity I was growing into. (Consequently, there's a Salvation Army store with quite a stock of gaming industry T-shirts.) I learned this idea from an ex-Navy Seal, who stressed to me the importance of taking pride in your appearance, and I can say with certainty that it makes a noticeable difference. So make sure the clothes you wear each day are consistent with your new self-image.

7. Use mental programming.

This is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique that will help you associate strong positive emotions to whatever goal you're working to achieve. Find some music that really energizes and inspires you. Put on your headphones and listen to it for fifteen to twenty minutes, and as you do this, form a clear mental picture of yourself having already achieved the results you want. Make your imagery big, bright, vivid, colorful, three-dimensional, panoramic, and animated. Picture the scene as if looking through your own eyes (this is very important). This will help you form a neuro-association between the positive emotions elicited by the music and the goal you want to achieve, thus strengthening your desire. This is a great way to begin each day, and you can even do it while lying in bed when you first awaken if you set things up the night before. You should cycle the music periodically, since the emotional charge you get will tend to diminish if you listen to the same songs each time.
Keep in mind that this form of mental programming is already being used on you by advertisers. Watch a fast-food TV commercial, and you'll note that the food is big, bright, and animated -- spinning burgers, lettuce flying through a splash of water, ripe tomatoes being sliced -- and don't forget the catchy tune. So instead of letting others program your desires for you, take charge and mentally reprogram yourself.

8. Take immediate action.

Once you set a goal for yourself, act immediately. As you begin working on a fresh new goal, don't worry so much about making detailed long-term plans. Too often people get stuck in the state of analysis paralysis and never reach the action stage. You can develop your plan later, but get moving first. Just identify the very first physical action you need to take, and then do it. For instance, if you've decided to lose weight, go straight to your refrigerator, and throw out all the junk food. Don't think about it. Don't ponder the consequences. Just do it immediately.
One of the secrets to success is recognizing that motivation follows action. The momentum of continuous action fuels motivation, while procrastination kills motivation. So act boldly, as if it's impossible to fail. If you keep adding fuel to your desire, you will reach the point of knowing that you'll never quit, and ultimate success will be nothing more than a matter of time.
If you apply these eight strategies, you'll add so much fuel to your desire that the fire will never burn out. You'll move towards your goals like a guided missile to its target, and you'll enjoy the process because you'll be so focused on the positive rewards instead of the difficulty of the tasks. If you get enough positive energy flowing into you, you'll soon have positive results flowing out of you. And you'll quickly become the kind of person that others refer to as "driven."

Source: Steve Pavlina

Wednesday 14 November 2012

The Law of Attraction

In recent year, the Law of Attraction has gotten a lot of attention from both believers and skeptics. Movies and books such as “The Secret” praise the Law of Attraction for its ability to bring good things to people who believe that good things will happen. In its most basic form, the Law of Attraction simply means that if you think something will happen, it will happen. Another was of putting the Law of Attraction is to say, “like attracts like.” In that same way that thinking positively will bring about a positive change, thinking negatively will also bring about a negative outcome. Proponents of the Law of Attraction believe that by changing the way you think, you can completely change your life.

There has been a lot of debate about the Law of Attraction and whether or not the Law of Attraction works. While some people wholeheartedly believe in the Law of Attraction, others are quick to present arguments about why the Law of Attraction does not hold up. Among the arguments that skeptics believe is that the Law of Attraction does not have measurable outcomes, the evidence is mostly anecdotal. Likewise, it is nearly impossible to say the exact reason why something happened. Others find fault in the Law of Attraction by picking apart the basics of the theory, namely questioning what happens if someone has conflicting thoughts.

Besides the debate about the validity of the Law of Attraction, there is still the question of how the Law of Attraction works. There is more to the Law of Attraction than simply thinking something and having it come true. The Law of Attraction takes much more than visualizing and having something materialize. If this was the case, there would be thousands of instances of people visualizing themselves as millionaires and achieving great wealth. The Law of Attraction is the combination of intense thoughts, feelings and imagination.

For the Law of Attraction to work, a person needs to genuinely believe that the Law of Attraction works and is a valid way to make things happen. Thoughts can be a powerful tool, but only if used correctly and if the thoughts are intense enough to make a difference. The Law of Attraction can work for people that have deep seeded beliefs, and are along focused enough to block out other distracting thoughts. For instance, if a person wants to succeed at a job, waking up every day thinking about failure and impossible tasks will put them in a mindset to fail. Alternatively, if that same person wakes up everyday ready to tackle challenges, get promoted and making a positive impact on their company, their chances of succeeding greatly improve. In this way, the Law of Attraction would state that because that person put out a vibe of success, concentrated on success, and worked towards success, they were bound to have a least some level of success.

For the Law of Attraction to work, many people say that the thoughts also have to move from the conscious mind to the subconscious mind. The conscious mind is very analytic and sometimes judgmental, making it hard for the conscious mind to think very abstractly or with great imagination at times. When a thought moves from the conscious mind to the unconscious mind, it has a greater chance of being reacted upon without hesitation. The unconscious mind has the power to trump the conscious mind in some instances, and many believe that the Law of Attraction is one of these instances. For the Law of Attraction to work, someone must thinking almost obsessively about one particular thing they would like to happen. Part of the process is convincing the mind that the desired outcome has either already happened or will happen very shortly. This way, the mind prepares for the outcome and also imagines all of the different scenarios in which the outcome will take place. Along with visualization and mediation on thoughts, the Law of Attraction can help to manifest things that are once only imagined into actual events

How to Relax

Although stress is actually an important motivating factor in our lives, sometimes the stress can build up to a point where it becomes unhealthy and overwhelming.  Finding way to relax and relieve stress is vital for us to maintain our sense of physical, mental, psychological, and emotional wellbeing.  Whether it is through breathing exercises, relaxing music, relaxing videos or even yoga, learning what works for you is an important step in the relaxation process.  Are you the type of person who needs a calm quiet place? Do you thrive around others? Do you need the stimulation of a long drive?  This article will examine different ways to relax yourself and the usefulness of each method.
One of the most common ways people choose to relax is through breathing exercises.  While it is true that we are constantly breathing, it is rarely done at a pace and manner that is conducive to relaxation.  This tenant becomes quite apparent when we are placed in a stressful situation.   Our focus becomes lost while both our breathing and heart rate become increasingly rapid.  The key to managing our breathing is to breathe from your diaphragm and not your chest.  At least of 70% of people do not use their diaphragm for optimized breathing.  The best way to tell if you are breathing successfully is to place your right hand in the center of your chest and your left on your diaphragm (3-5 inches above your bellybutton.) If both hands are moving in tandem with one another, you are breathing in the most optimized manner possible to increase relaxation.
Another excellent way to relax that many people take for granted is sleep.  Most of us simply do not get enough sleep to operate efficiently.  The average adult needs about 8 hours of sleep to perform at peak efficiency.  Most of our sleep deprivation can be attributed to distractions that we take for granted such as having a television or too many distracting lights in your bedroom.  A bedroom should exist as a room for sleeping only.  You should not eat, read, or engage in other such tasks bed. Spending too much time in bed tricks our body into thinking that we do not necessarily need to sleep in our beds and can lead to many restless nights.
Music can be a great way to relax.  If you’re feeling stressed go to a quiet secluded place, put headphones into your ears, and play some relaxing music or even soundscapes.  The type of music that will relax each individual best differs from person to person.  One person’s relaxing music might only irritate another.  Soundscapes are regarded as highly relaxing and will generally work for everyone.  There is something about the sound of waves crashing on a beach or a calm thunderstorm in the distance that seems soothing and will serve to eliminate your stress.  Other white noises that are not necessarily music or soundscapes can help to soothe and relax you as well. For example, an oscillating fan in your bedroom can provide a great background noise on restless night.
Many religions also include ways to relax. Buddhism promotes meditation, which people often site as one of the best way to relax.  Meditation includes all three of the aforementioned tactics.  The meditative state that is reached can recharge our bodies in a similar fashion as sleep and the controlled breathing throughout helps to regulate blood flow and lower stress.
These simple techniques ease the mind and evaporate stress.  Although these are not the only three ways to relax yourself, many people benefit from practicing these common relaxation techniques.

Sunday 11 November 2012

Confidence: What Is Confidence?

The word confidence is a term that is often hard to define. What is it and what does it look like? Are questions that can be asked. Through the act of comparison, one can see that there is a difference between people that are confident and people that are not confident.
Many years ago I was at a training event and one of the people that were running the course said 'Confidence doesn't exist'. And upon hearing this, I was incredibly confused.
Examples of what confidence looks like are often taken from people in the entertainment industry. So: actors, musicians, sports stars and presenters etc.
The Meaning
On google.com the meaning is - 1.The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust: "we had every confidence in the staff". 2. The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
This shows that the general meaning of confidence is that one believes in oneself and in their ability to function and perform in life.
Society
As well as these roles that people play in the area of entertainment, there are certain types of people that are seen as the embodiment of what confidence is in our society. And this is usually portrayed through the eyes of the mainstream media.
These are typically the people that are described as: good looking, talented, well dressed, wealthy and educated for example.
Childhood
Another powerful influence on the levels of confidence (belief) that one has, is ones early childhood years. How one was treated by their caregivers and how their caregivers treated others will also play a significant role in this.
Here ones caregivers can either cause one to feel confident in themselves or not. And it may be that one was made to feel confident for what they did or what they had (external) and not for who they were (Internal).
So their confidence was never internalized and integrated, it was always based on some external requirement being fuilfilled.
Consequences
What then happens is that these become the criteria of what confidence is and is not. If one has what their society classes or childhood classed as confidence, then in theory, they will feel confident. And based on those requirements, if one doesn't match up, they should feel unconfident.
The Exception
For every rule that there is, there is always exceptions and confidence is no different. People that are classed as attractive are sometimes confident and sometimes they are not. There are people who have incredible talent and ability and yet have no confidence in that they do.
And being educated and having large sums of money, also doesn't guarantee that one truly believes in themselves.
So does this mean that if one has all of these, a few of these, or even one of these requirements and doesn't feel confident; that one has been sold a lie? Or that one just needs to keep on accumulating more?
Approval
Upon closer inspection of these societal requirements and the requirements that were laid out in ones child; it becomes clear that these are all external in nature. They are based on the approval and acceptance of another person or people.
And this means that one is giving their power away to other people. One is allowing another person to define how one sees themselves and what one is capable off.
The Other Side
On the other side of people who don't feel confident, even though they have filled certain requirements; are people who act confidently and yet don't necessarily match up to societies ideals of what is needed to be confident. Or they may have a few of these requirements.
So how could these people be confident if they are not following the rules of society, or the requirements that were expressed in ones childhood?
Of course, there will be some people that were been empowered for who they were in their childhood and not conditioned to the gain the approval of other people.
Permission
Because, what these requirements are doing is giving one the permission to feel confident and to believe in who they are. These requirements in and of themselves, are neutral and are based on the opinions and views of other people.
So through achieving or having a certain requirement, the mind will be able to fulfil certain expectations, which have come about through the associations that have been attached to the requirement/s. And this will then lead to the intangible experience known as confidence.
The Prison
The benefit is that if one does have these requirements then they can feel confident, but this is not always the case. It also means that one's confidence is at the whim of other people and outside circumstances. And this will mean that one is being enslaved as a result of this.
It is like an invisible web, that each and every one of us can become a part of, without any awareness. This web attaches makes one emotionally and mentally dependent on others and puts ones sense of control into the hands of another person or group of people.
Examples
One of the ways this web can be seen is when one goes to another country or when a person from another country comes to where one is. Here, one may be able to see a clear difference in behaviour and this is because their mind is interpreting the environment differently.
And this causes them to behave in a way that could be seen as freer or almost rebellious when compared to ones behaviour or the behaviour of other people.
Interpretations
We are all human and we all have an ego mind. By using the example of another country or a person who has resided in another country, it helps to emphasis the power of interpretations.
The way that we behave, how competent we think we are and how confident we are; is based on the interpretations in our mind. And these are not fixed or set in stone. They have come about through conditioning and this can be changed.
The Story
So the quote 'Confidence doesn't exist' makes a lot of sense. In as much as, it is simply a state of mind. One may think that they would be lying or that they are deluding themselves, if they were to see themselves as confident.
However, if one is playing the role of not being confident, is there really any more truth to this? It is only being perceived as the truth, due it being a role that is being interpreted as familiar and therefore safe to the ego mind.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7367822

Friday 9 November 2012

Ways of Attracting Luck in Life

People have different perceptions about luck but one thing is for sure, luck is real. That is the only way to explain why some people are consistently lucky unlike others. Many times you may have been thinking of how to attract luck, how to influence the outcome of our day to day activities so that they may favor you. Psychologists will say it all begins with the mind. I couldn't agree more.
Having a positive attitude is perhaps the most important factor in determining how lucky you will be. Be optimistic and expect good luck every time you encounter a challenge. Take the case of a student who gets into an examination hall and expects to pass brilliantly. He will naturally have the courage to think through the examination because he has peace of mind. Even when he comes across a hard question, he will try to figure it out instead of worrying about failure.
You may have noted that the harder and smarter you work, the luckier you seem to get. Successful politicians can attest to this fact. In a country with more than one presidential aspirant, it takes diligence and smart moves by political analysts to get majority votes by campaigning aggressively. Making the best out of the chances that present themselves in your day to day life can magnify your chances of being lucky. Seize every opportunity you can because you will gain nothing if you don't take the bold step of seizing these opportunities.
Any individual be it a businessperson, civil servant or even a writer needs to cultivate the value of trust. No man/woman is an island. To achieve your goals you have to use the help of others: friends and family, well-wishers, suppliers and customers. You should network with people from diverse geographical areas, ethnicity, social-economic classes and even occupations. This will open up your mind in areas where you could have remained knowledge averse. If you like doing everything by yourself, your chances of getting lucky are greatly diminished.
We all agree to the fact that everyone has a gift or a talent. This is your strong card. If you can make a masterpiece in painting, then you should pursue ventures that are aligned to that area of your talent. This will greatly increase your chances of luck because you have an upper hand. Repetition of positive affirmations is a great tool. Statements like "I will make it" and "I am a lucky person" are very important. Think of the boring advertisement that has been aired on television for three months. You may hate the advertisement but you will mostly find yourself buying the product just to test it. The repetition will have influenced you into buying.
I believe that people are different and have different methods of influencing the outcomes of their ventures. Some my be religious, while others like the ones outlined above may be pretty practical in our daily lives. If you get into the habit of practicing the necessary tips to attract luck, at the end of the day lady luck will be smiling at you.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7369306

What is Love?


It's the focus of just about every romantic comedy in existence. Two people fall in love. Maybe everything's rocky for a while, if one or both of them is in denial. But then love is acknowledged, and everything is wonderful. The couple are perfectly matched in personality, and they have a great sex life to boot. It's what virtually everyone, if they were to stop and be perfectly honest with themselves, desires in a relationship. But it's not realistic, right?
If the most pervasive stereotype about love we are exposed to in this modern world is unrealistic - what is actually reasonable for each of us to expect when it comes to lasting romance? How do we know if it's the real thing, or if we should hold out for something better? With divorce rates rising all over the world, many of us stop to wonder if we're really putting enough thought into our committed relationships. But at the same time, overthinking things seems equally undesirable. Nobody wants to miss their chance at happiness because they were just too goddamn picky.
Thanks to women's liberation and similar movements, divorce has increasingly become a viable, socially acceptable option for those who find themselves in marriages that just aren't working. But honestly, this isn't the only factor at work. Historically, the majority of marriages have been based on some kind of logical benefit. Money, social security, family standing, etc. But increasingly, 'love' has become the most considered factor when entering into a committed relationship. And unlike economic and social driving factors, love is highly illogical and unpredictable - particularly to the people who are most concerned.
A large part of what makes love illogical is that there are so many contradicting definitions of the concept. Is having someone who shares your interests and values enough? Or should you hold out for strong physical (chemical) attraction too? Whether you decide to define love as comfortable companionship, or as an irresistible physical attraction, either way most of us are conscious of a perceived risk. On the one hand, if we decide that burning passion is a non-viable basis for a relationship (if it even does exist anyway), we run the risk of finding ourselves trapped in a committed relationship with someone who suits us well enough when we eventually stumble across somebody else who is a perfect match. On the other hand, forever holding out for that one perfect connection can seem like a gamble most people are unlikely to win - with those who lose ending up forever alone.
Too often we may believe that we have found our soulmate, only to break up and, looking back, realise that everything that initially seemed so perfect was an illusion, a trick of our own minds caused by eager willingness to give in to chemical signals of physical attraction. So is every relationship that feels like it is based on some kind of deep connection on a spiritual or physical level necessarily a lie?
We are social creatures, but we are also individuals. The idea of two souls fitting together as one is a lovely image, but in reality we cannot even access the thoughts of another person, let alone connect our own thoughts to theirs. If ever we feel irresistibly drawn to another person, it is a purely physical effect. Chemicals playing with our brain. But this doesn't necessarily mean that a relationship based on such physical attraction is doomed to fail. The key to every relationship is communication. Even if we feel this strong attraction to another person, we have to remember that a relationship doesn't turn two people into one being - and we have to make effort to support the flow of communication accordingly. And once communication has been achieved, each of us must give a little, and take a little, and support compromises. It is only when cooperation fails that relationships fall apart.
And as for the original question: What is love? How important is this concept of love as a factor for a successful, committed relationship? And if our happiness is to be shared with another person, how do we know if we've found the right person to share it with? Honestly, I'm still confused. I suspect it's an answer that requires retrospect to be learned. But with all that combined human experience out there, I don't believe that we should all have to gamble our entire lives just to find out the answer.

Loving Yourself and Your Relationships

"A troop of porcupines is milling about on a cold winter's day. In order to keep from freezing, the animals move closer together. Just as they are close enough to huddle, however, they start to poke each other with their quills. In order to stop the pain, they spread out, lose the advantage of commingling, and again begin to shiver. This sends them back in search of one and other, and the cycle repeats as they struggle to find a comfortable distance between entanglement and freezing." Arthur Shopenhauer
We are wired for love and connection. Without it, as babies, we don't survive. Without it, as adults, we can't thrive. Self actualization simply doesn't happen inside a vacuum. We need others in order to be and share our best. While in the 1950's psychologists still believed that children shouldn't be coddled, nowadays scientists are certain of the detrimental effect that lack of warmth and closeness has not only in childhood but in adulthood as well. Conventional wisdom held that mothers who coddled their offspring created clingy, overdependent youngsters who grew up into incompetent adults. The proper way to rear children was to have an antiseptic, rational distance. In those days, for example, parents weren't allowed to stay in the hospital with their sick sons and daughters; they had to drop the children off at the door.
The troubling effects of this were documented by John Bowlby. It was he who revolutionized this area of psychology by introducing "Attachment theory", which was initially ridiculed and despised by his peers. This theory supports a child's need for safe, ongoing physical and emotional closeness. In the 1990s this theory was broadened to include adults: having a secure connection to our loved ones is empowering. It allows us to thrive.
And so we have an innate desire for community and connection. As the porcupines in Shopenhauer's fable, however, closeness comes with the risk of getting hurt. We prick each other with our figurative quills, and then we retreat to keep a safe distance. To create a sense of emotional safety, we tend to do one of two things: either we strive for closeness at our own detriment, not setting any boundaries and allowing ourselves to be treated badly for the sake of keeping the connection. We won't say no because we fear abandonment. Alternatively, we set up walls and fences, not letting anyone get close, in an effort to keep ourselves safe. Accepting help is out of the question and those softer emotions like intimacy, love, and care are kept at bay.
Neither strategy gets us what we truly want. It creates a false sense of security that eventually will lose its effectiveness. Shopenhauer saw this dance of separateness and closeness as an inevitable dichotomy. I don't agree with him. I strongly believe it is possible to synergize the two and build our connections on "effective dependency". It means being separate (independent) enough to truly bond and allow yourself to be dependent on someone else. This certainly doesn't mean you'll never get hurt. It simply means that you'll have a healthy way of relating to this hurt, so that your emotional safety comes from within first and foremost. You fully accept that risk, because you can choose with whom to connect and with whom not.
My belief in this synergy did not automatically mean I experienced it in my own life. In fact, it has been quite the contrary. I've struggled with maintaining my autonomy and feeling truly connected at the same time. For a long time I was stuck in either feeling completely true to myself, yet alone, or in deep connection with others yet losing myself in the meantime. My desire for connection was so great that I would forget (or, to be honest, flat out refuse) to set conditions to the relationship, whether it be a friendship, love relationship, or even in my work. If the other person wasn't carrying their weight in our relating, I would pick up the slack for them.
A great example of this happened with a friend of mine in high school who lived about 5 miles away from me. Those miles always seemed a lot farther for her than they did for me. So I ended up cycling her way 98% of the time, which was metaphorical of our connection. That kind of lob-sidedness in any kind of relationship won't hold forever. Unless, of course, you're willing to lose yourself in the meantime.
My love relationships weren't much different. In my wanting for others what they want for themselves, I would simply lose connection with what I wanted and needed for me. Then, when I would eventually awaken to that again, I found myself in a situation where the other person wouldn't reciprocate nor was willing to extend themselves. In fact, as I started to take care of myself first, they'd feel betrayed by my sudden "lack of care".
The pain that came from that has led me to explore and uncover the ingredients of how to love yourself and your relationships. How can we be an expression of our authentic essence and truly connect with those we care about? What needs to be present in a connection for it to be able to flourish and strengthen over time? I started reading books on boundaries, on connections and relationships, and all things concerning authenticity and autonomy. I've spoken to countless of people, got coaching, and coached others on this topic. Through all of it, I started to notice patterns. The same essential ingredients seemed to be presented in everything I read or heard, and experienced in my own life. And so my research, my work with my clients, and experimentation in my personal life has led me to a 7-step system that focuses on building a strong inner bond from which we can grow sustainable, loving connections.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7358177

Monday 5 November 2012

How To Become A Successful Person: Three Key Factors In Your Success Development

Have you been told if you work hard you will be successful - your success development will take care of itself? Have you tried that and it has not worked? Do you wonder why? The world is full of hard-working people who struggle all their lives and never really make much progress. While we know we have to apply ourselves and work hard if we want to reach a certain goal, how come it does not work for everyone? The reason is hard work is only one of the factors.
Smart Hard Work
Hard work is one of the key factors in success development but it has to be directed in the right way. The real key is smart hard work. If you have thought through what you want to achieve and then made sure it is something you can achieve, you then need to look for the most effective ways of getting it. Smart hard work is effective hard work.
The fact is there is always a better way of doing things and you need to find that better way. This does not mean you should take short cuts and look for the easy way. It means you look for the more effective way. This might mean taking shortcuts, but not because they are easier but because they are more effective. You are then working hard more effectively. This will contribute to your success development and get you closer to your goals.
Use Time Effectively
Learn to manage your time as you do your work. If you are going to work effectively you need to manage time so you are able to achieve maximum results in the time you have available. If you do not do this you will be caught up in the seemingly never-ending days of work when there is never enough time to do the things you have to do. You become tired and less effective.
A simple way to do this is to write a list of the jobs you have for the day, give them a priority and allot a time frame for each. This will not always work out exactly as you plan but you will be spending time on the things that matter. If you spend most of your time on activities that are important to your career or your success development you will be working effectively.
Control The Way You Think
Your success development will depend on your self-discipline as much as on any other factor. Once you decide what you want and you are continually looking for the most effective ways of working and managing your time, you have to dedicate yourself to following through with consistent action. You need to stay motivated and this can be challenging. One of the best ways to do this is to keep reminding yourself of what you are trying to do and why.
There is an old saying, "Your attitude determines your altitude". In other words, you will be as successful as your mental outlook allows you to be. That's why it is important to find the right mind power technique, whether it is Emotional Freedom Techniques or Hypnotherapy, to


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7353943

Sunday 4 November 2012

Great Personal Development Tips That Are Easy To Practice

You should always aspire to becoming the best. Your passion should always lead you to aspire to greatness. The fact is that we can never be the absolute best at a single thing, but we can aspire to be an inspiration to others in our fields. Always attempt to boost your worth in the field you work in, then enjoy what it does for your self-esteem.
When you are engaging in the personal development process, experiencing failure often deals a damaging blow to your self-concept. Actually, failure is really a learning experience. It shows you what your strengths and your weaknesses are. In that sense, every failure should be a point of pride for you, as you have uncovered another piece of your personal puzzle.
If you notice that you are consistently failing to meet your goals and live up to expectations, you should attempt to diagnose the probable causes. Find out some ideas online and look to others who have similar expectations. You also might find that your goals are indeed not realistic, or that some other critical resource is needed before your goal can be realized.
Knowing where to steer your life is an important thing to consider when thinking about personal development. Long-term goals are huge and can have a huge impact on your perspective.
Maintaining benevolent wishes for others can lead to an increase in the good things you bring into your own life. In this instance, wish only the best for people. Focusing on positive things will help you stay happy and motivated.
Each day should be an opportunity to top the previous day's accomplishments. You should never stop trying to find ways to do things better, and better yourself. Push yourself to do something better today than you did the day before.
Leaders are humble, though powerful and strict too. A strict attitude is required but advice should be given in a caring way. A good leader has morals and is honest; these are crucial characteristics for any successful person to hold.
Making yourself number one, and not overextending yourself, is very important. You are responsible for making yourself happy. While it is important to remember this, you shouldn't step on other people. If you are true to yourself and stick to your morals, you will end up happier on your path to personal development.
Don't ignore your body's signals when you are prioritizing your personal development goals. Never allow yourself to become dehydrated or overly hungry. Consistently listening to your body keeps it well-maintained. You may be sorry if your ignore your bodies wants and needs.
Do not shop for comfort. As part of your personal development, clean up your financial matters. Eliminate unnecessary expenses.
Don't go nuts and overreact when it's not necessary. You'll get stressed out in no time. Learn how to cope with stress, and be sure to analyze the situation carefully. You can usually fix any mistake, or find a way to work around it. Look at what you've got instead of focusing on what you lost.
Many employers are not as concerned with the name of your school as they are with the fact that you had the discipline and determination to finish the work and graduate! This shows that you will be a dedicated, hard worker. Some employers, such as banks or other financial institutions, do put more weight on which school you attended, but these are rare exceptions. The important thing is to acquire a degree so you have more opportunities available to you.
Don't think physical activity is only for when you want to lose a few pounds. There are lots of good, healthy reasons for exercising. When you exercise, your body makes a variety of chemicals that assist in relaxing you.
Figure out your goals in life, and go after them. If you sit in your chair thinking about how you would like your life to be, and you do nothing to make it happen, you will never get that life. Take action with the goal of realizing your dreams.
Always treat people respectfully, whether they have power and can do something for you, or whether they're an ordinary person. How you treat them reveals more about your own character, than it reveals about theirs.
You can't tend to others needs until your own needs are met. No matter where you are in life, allow yourself time to recover and rejuvenate yourself.
Make it a habit to constantly ask yourself what's important in your life and whether you are still focused on it. By focusing on your positive priorities and removing your attention from negative events and circumstances that are out of your control, you will be able to cultivate deep inner peace.
Be pleased about all that you can do well instead of focusing on what you cannot do. Everybody has unique skills, and it's those skills that make our world diverse and an excellent planet to live on. You should concentrate on talents you currently have rather than worry about those you do not possess at this point.
Come up with a little pep talk for yourself. List all your great attributes on an index card. Keep this card with you, and read through it when you feel your confidence flagging. Better yet, read the list out loud while recording yourself. How will this help?
Try to avoid unneeded stress whenever possible. When something happens try not to go overboard and over-react. Work on remembering that sometimes, things just go wrong no matter how well you plan. You need to put your focus on overcoming these obstacles, rather than becoming discouraged or giving up.
Instead of bragging about your accomplishments, ask those around you about what they are most proud of and what they've achieved. Placing your focus on others will help you recognize the potential of those around you.
Learning to react selflessly is a sign of progress in the path of personal development. There are times when you may have to sacrifice something and simply care for someone else. You will soon become the person you envision for yourself, when you have mastered the ability to personally sacrifice without harming your own well-being.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7034311

The Many Benefits Of Individual Personal Development

When it comes to personal development, it's a lifelong process that can prove very beneficial to each individual person. The more you strive to achieve the goals you set, the better life you are able to live. This not only affects you but those around you as well. Consider the following helpful advice concerning the many benefits of individual personal development.
The first steps in striving toward your own individual personal development is to be honest with yourself, assess your situation, and determine healthy goals. What would you like to see improved in your life? Perhaps you're wanting to further your education, or maybe you would like to spend more time with your family. Whatever your situation is, you need to evaluate it and set both short-term and long-term goals for yourself.
As you set goals, you should be keeping a journal. If you already keep a journal, tailor part of your entries towards your personal development goals. This will help you assess and track your progress, and it will help you get your feelings on paper. It's important to be able to communicate openly on paper about your goals.
A personal development coach is a great way to work towards your goals. Perhaps you can afford a personal development coach to help motivate you and keep you accountable. There are many things you might be trying to work toward, and your goals should be important to you. The more involved you are in this process, the more a personal development coach might seem appealing to you. If you can't afford a coach, count on your family and friends to help keep you accountable towards your goals.
Research information regarding the areas of your life that you want to improve. There will be many books and articles, both offline and online, that you can refer to for guidance in your efforts. This can teach you much about development and technique. You can read about other's experiences, and there are many things you find out that will help you.
You can also join support groups for many individual efforts or see a therapist regarding your own personal development as well. You should definitely be seeking the support of your friends and family as well. You want to make sure you're able to have the help of the people you love. Make an honest effort to involve them yet not overwhelm them. Use your personal development to their benefit, while still gaining the support you need for yourself.
Personal development is a wonderful thing, and each person should be striving towards their personal goals. Some of your goals will be short-term goals, and other goals will be long-term. You have to use all of them to work together to make you happy about yourself and where you're at in life. No one said it was easy, but life lived striving personally for a better self is going to be helping those around you. This is one thing that life is all about.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7307381