2013- A Year to Embrace Personal Development

4 Ways to Stay Resilient that I Learned from My Dog

I have never been an easygoing person. Not once has anyone ever described me as laid back. I always assumed it wasn’t in my DNA to be calm and peaceful. When things went wrong, it destroyed me. I had coping skills, but they weren’t effective, unless you consider drowning your sorrows in bottles of wine and pans of brownies healthy. Sad but true, when things didn’t go my way or my expectations weren’t met, I felt desperately inept at holding myself together.

I kept waiting for my life to change–for things to start going my way. And that’s when I finally realized that life doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t simply go the way you want it to, no matter how much you wish or pray about it, and even sometimes no matter how hard you work at it. More often than not, life is simply hard. You don’t often get what you want, and most of us certainly don’t get what we deserve. We just get what we get. It’s how we cope with it, embrace it, and learn from it that makes us whole or broken.
Once I realized this, it was a slow awakening. I didn’t simply understand one day and wake up changed. Just like the reality of the alarm clock in the morning, I tried to deny it. I hit snooze. Pulled the covers over my head. Chased the last bits of darkness and dreams. But eventually, as is always true, I had to wake up and live my life.

Funnily enough, I took my cues on changing the way I lived from my dog. After all, she is happy all the time, so who better to look to for ways to live life? So I started to live like her.

1.     Embrace the morning.
I noticed that every morning, my dog wakes up happy and realized there’s no reason I can’t, too. She’s always snuggly and wagging and excited that it’s a new day. Instead of waking each morning and wishing my life were different, I decided to wake up thinking of it as a new beginning. No matter what has happened the day before, the morning is always a new opportunity—to change your attitude, your mood, your mind. That was a decision I had to make, a practice to put into play. I talked myself through it everyday until I didn’t need reminders anymore. Now, my puppy and I awake to stretch our limbs, get some good snuggles, and go outside for some fresh air. Each morning, regardless of whether it’s cold outside or I’m especially sleepy, is a fresh start.

2.     Use your senses.
Every time I walk the pup, she’s constantly sniffing, listening, alert. I realized that I never paid attention to my surroundings. I was always too busy brooding—looking at my feet or my phone or just lost in negative thoughts. Now, I’m present in each moment of my day. I look up at the sky to notice its blueness and the way the clouds stretch across the horizon. I take deep breaths, inhale the crisp winter air, and give thanks. I listen to the last of the leaves crunching underfoot, and cuddle into the softness of my scarf. It makes me grateful for the small things.

3.     Sing!
Let me preface this by telling you: I am not a singer. But, my dog absolutely adores it when I sing. She wags her whole body when I sing to her each morning and cuddles right up to me during her lullaby each night. I sing Taylor Swift and Queen and Sir Mix-a-lot and butcher every last lyric and note. But guess what? It makes her—and me—happy. You can’t belt out Bohemian Rhapsody and stay in a bad mood. It’s a scientific fact. Ok, maybe not, but it’s true for me.

4.     Show affection.
No matter what has happened in my day, my puppy is always glad to see me. She wags. She jumps. She gives kisses and cuddles. She cuddles up to me when I sit on the couch and sits on my lap when I work from home. While her affection doesn’t exactly translate into my world, I take a cue from her by smiling at people on the street, saying good morning, holding doors open, and paying compliments to friends and strangers alike. Not surprisingly, it makes me feel good to make others feel good. To send my sister a “just because” card, bring my co-worker his favorite snack, pick up the tab when I get coffee with a friend—it all makes me a happier person.

How does this translate into resilience? Well, I’m a happier person. Not because I have the perfect job or family or friends. Not because I have loads of money or my ideal figure or an amazing apartment. Not because I’m dating the man of my dreams or getting married or having a child. I’m happier because I’m grateful. I realize that for all the things I don’t have in my life, there are hundreds, maybe even thousands, more to appreciate.

 When things don’t go the way I’d hoped, it doesn’t destroy me because I can recognize that there’s so much I have that is good, and there are so many reasons to be happy. I allow myself to feel sad or hurt or angry, but it doesn’t consume me. I feel it, and then I move on from it. I wake up to a new day, sing to my puppy, and say hello to my neighbors while the first snowflakes swirl around me.  I can see the bigger picture and realize that these are all small moments in a much greater scene.

 Rather than pursuing happiness, I’m just letting myself be happy.
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Melissa Woodson is the community manager for @WashULaw, a Masters of Law in U.S. Law offered through Washington University in St. Louis that is considered a premier LLM degree. In her spare time, she enjoys running, cooking, and making half-baked attempts at training her dog. You may find her personal blog at hungryhealthymj.com or follow her on twitter @hungryhealthyMJ.

The Secret of All High Achievers: Effective Goal Setting

Most people drift through life with vague dreams and ambitions; however, those who go approach life in a purposeful manner are the ones who end up as high achievers. Goal setting is the most effective way of taking control of your life. No matter what you want to do, be it managing your finances, learning a new skill, or modifying a behavior pattern, you will find that using goal setting strategies will make those tasks much easier.
Getting Started
Goal setting is systematic procedure. Usually it comprises the following steps.

1. To begin with, you will need to work out where you want to be in the next ten or fifteen years. These are your long-term, lifetime goals.


2. Once you have this "big picture" in your mind, you need to strategize ways of reaching it. These steps to reach the final goal are your short-term goals. Short-term goals can be for the next six months or a year.


3. And then, you need to chart out daily tasks that need to be accomplished to reach the short-term goals.


4. Finally, every few months you can spend some time reviewing your goals and assessing your progress. Remember, you need to be flexible enough to modify your goals if required.

Effective Goal Setting Strategies
Setting the right goals is essential to maintain motivation and ensure success. You can use the following goal setting strategies to ensure that you succeed in your endeavors.
Set specific and measurable goals: Vague and generalized goals are ambiguous and difficult to achieve, such as "I want to be successful in life." Instead, try to be specific and precise while formulating your goals. If you can measure your goals, then it will be easier for you to know when you have achieved them.
Set smaller goals: Make a short list of goals. It is better to aim for 5 essential tasks in your to-do list for the day and complete all of them than having a long list and quitting after completing one or two tasks. Starting with small and specific goals will boost your confidence.
Opt for performance goals: You have greater control over your performance than over the outcome, thus it is better to set goals around your performance. This will ensure that you are not demotivated if environmental factors prevent you from achieving your goals. This philosophy is to focus on giving your best shot instead of looking only at the result.
Remain realistic: While it is always good to aim high, make sure that your goals are achievable and practical. Overambitious and impractical goals can kill your motivation.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7428821

Start To Finish!

"It's not about finishing; it's about you being there on the starting line" - A tagline I read in the newspaper. How true a statement that none of us actually and truly understand. All we are worried about is the finish, result, future, end, or the final act. This kept me thinking for a while and then I thought, I should pen down a few things that we all know but forget to implement. How important is the end or result? I guess very important. All our actions/ behaviors, thoughts/imaginations etc have only one focus point and that is the finish line. Truly said that "keep your eyes on the goal and you will achieve it", but in the bargain don't we actually miss out on the lovely experiences on the way to the goal.
We are so busy concentrating on the goal that we forget the enormous, small yet beautiful events, people, acts or scenes that help us reach where we want to be. The journey as they call it starts at a point. But we forget to place ourselves firmly and strong at that point. Nor do we prepare in advance or research, neither do we know the start point many a times. Yet we believe, some day our efforts would take us to the goal. Midway through our journey a feeling of being lost creeps in and there is a period when we actually doubt our ability, strength, desire or even the goal. When this feeling sets in we try to alter or give up on a lot of things, the worst one being the task and goal itself. To avoid all these confusions midway, planning, research, setting milestones, listing the stages of work that will enable us to reach the goal, a clear picture of the goal, positive attitude, a willingness to take charge of the situation, persistence, an open-minded attitude to learn at every step is needed.
But the most important is to keep a firm foot on the starting line. A foot that is filled with confidence and is ready to face the challenges One which is ready to take up any responsibility and to strive to reach where it dreams to be.
I have just started off the journey, and I have done my research. Also I have a few guides to help me through. Looking forward to the journey, its experiences and meeting the people who will help me get a step closer to what I want to achieve. Here's wishing all who want to get there and do that or be that, the very best of luck!
And don't forget "It's not about finishing; It's about being there on the starting line"

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7428556