Want to be Happier? Watch this video.....

How To Relax When Stressed And Feel Free Again

Let's face it, dealing with stress is a pain.

And although rubbing your ears humming "woosah" sounds good, it isn't going to be your best option.
Unless you're in your psychiatrist's chair.

I know how you feel and battle with this every day, but I've found certain ways to help ward it off.
One of my greatest experiences with stress was when I was managing a $550,000 order that seemed to be going well. The order was processed and all the material to fulfill the order was procured and allocated.
Sounds great right?

Wrong! Our customer called me frantic saying that the order they placed was for the wrong product. You can imagine my worry. I felt sick, nauseous and partially delirious.

After a few days of panic I decided to calm down, think it through and fix the situation.
Regardless of how this story started it ended with a great relationship with our customer and a more educated me on how to relax when stressed.
From then on I implemented a few ways to manage my stress and I know you can benefit from then as well.

Get a support group
By having a support group you'll be able to process your thoughts externally. It's fine to think inside your head, but once you verbalize it the vibrations will hit your subconscious and redirect your irrational thoughts. You will also receive valuable input from your support group.

Don't sit, get up
I've talked about this before but sitting slouched, hovered over your keyboard will only make things worse. Get up and move. I like to reach to the sky and then go straight into a standing hamstring stretch. It loosens you up and gets blood flowing.

Use a Stability ball
A stability ball won't be the "thing" that makes you stress free, but it'll help support proper posture. Proper posture makes you more confident, less tired and less irritable. This doesn't manage your stress but it'll help ward it off before it arrives.

Take deep breaths
By focusing on breaths, you'll briefly forget the worries that troube you. Take 15 deep breaths. As you inhale your diaphragm should expand and as you exhale it should contract. Focus only on your breath. By taking these focused deep breaths, more oxygen will reach vital organs. Nothing like a little brain boost when stressed.

Get some rays
Have you ever gone to the beach or laid by the pool and felt completely relaxed? The sun has a natural calming effect. Maybe it's being outdoors and getting fresh air or the absorption of the much needed vitamin D. It'll help calm you down which is the goal, right?

Office decor
Buy yourself a couple office plants. Plants are how we receive oxygen and by having them in your office they'll help filter and regulate your office atmosphere. And it doesn't hurt that it helps visually.

Workout when you get home
Going home and working out is the best way to loosen up and clear the mind. After you'll feel more relaxed and rational.

Tip - Bring a paper and pen in case any thoughts flood your mind. You want to get them out of your head and on paper. This way you can refer back and focus on you and your workout, that's it.

Clear your mind
Easier said than done I know, but clearing your mind has a powerful effect. It de-clutters your thoughts and grounds you. Your mind races all day long. Slow it down and think about nothing.
Get good at meditating each and every day.

Go to bed early
What? There is no way you can get to bed early. Spare me. Yes, you can.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 50-70 million adults have sleep or wakefulness disorder. The effects are HUGE. By reducing your sleep by as much as 30 minutes one night can reduce your day time alertness by 32%.
Getting more sleep will not only energize you, it will also significantly reduce your stress levels.

Eat well in the morning
Eat like a king, fight like a knight.
By eating a healthy well balanced breakfast you're preparing your body for the full day ahead. Getting these essential nutrients first thing in the morning are key to warding off environmental and office stressors.
Focus on quality protein and fat, with a side of berries.
You don't have to use all of these to reduce your stress level, but the max benefit is reached when their all used cohesively.
Once you know how to relax when stressed, your life will seem clearer. Your mind will be focused, your thoughts will be sharp and you'll be a better you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7611763

You Deserve Happiness, So Stop Settling for Less

A scene in the film Me and You and Everyone We Know -- a quirky love story about a lonely shoe salesman and an equally lonely artist -- shows the artist in the store where the salesman works, waiting while a friend shops.

The shoe salesman glances at the artist's shoes and asks, "Are those comfortable?"
She says, "I guess so. I mean, they kind of rub my ankles, but all shoes do that. I have low ankles."
He looks her in the eye and says, "You think you deserve that pain, but you don't."

You think you deserve that pain, but you don't.

Too many of us go through life quietly enduring things that make us unhappy. We tolerate jobs that cut into our well-being. We stay in roles that rub and chafe and wear away at our happiness. In short, we settle.

A few years ago, while eating lunch with my colleagues in our corporate cafeteria, I looked around the room at everyone and then turned to my coworker. I asked, "Do you think these people are happy?"
He replied, "Right now they are."
"In general, though," I said. "Do you think they're happy?"
He stared at me. "Do you really think anybody is happy with their job?"
And there it was.

We grow up dreaming of being astronauts and princesses. We're told we can achieve anything we want. We're promised the world and permitted to dream beyond its limits. But at some point along the way, we abandon the concept of happiness completely. We build lifestyles of cubicles and commutes. We do what we think we should.

And then we wake up on Monday morning filled with dread and think it would be ludicrous to expect otherwise.

"Nobody likes their job," we justify, "so I shouldn't expect to, either."
The salesman in the film goes on to say, "People think foot pain is a fact of life. Life is actually better than that."
The artist's friend adds, "Your whole life could be better, starting right now."

Your whole life can be better.

You deserve to face Monday with something more than despair. You deserve to feel excited about something more than Friday evening. You deserve to love your job. You deserve to feel that your happiness still counts. Because it does.

Happiness should be a standard that life decisions are measured against, and any decision that undermines your happiness should be regarded as a poor one.

Don't bind yourself up in a mortgage if you're going to use it as an excuse to stay in a job you hate. Don't move to a city you hate for a job you hate just because it pays well. Don't arrange your life so that you work an hour from home if you're going to spend the commute missing your children grow up.
Do not settle for shoes that hurt your feet.
Do not justify a job that pains you in other ways.
Happiness is a basic necessity. Expect happiness -- and then figure out how to get it.

To borrow one last line from the movie, "I am prepared for amazing things to happen."
I deserve it. You do, too.

HAPPINESS

Three weeks after our wedding, we moved to Europe.
We had not completed our college educations,
We didn't speak the language,
We didn't know the customs,
We didn't understand much about life on any continent.

Between us we earned less than $150 a month.
Our rent was $100.
We were a couple of kids
Embarking on a new adventure.
We struggled.
We were happy.

Many years later some things are different.
We completed our college educations,
We learned the foreign language,
We grew up.
We know a bit more about life.
Together we earn more than we need each month.

But some things are the same.
We still struggle.
We are still happy.

It wasn't lack of wealth
That made us happy before.
It isn't possession of material things
That makes us happy now.

It's the intangible part of life
That we embrace:
Best friends
Building a life together,
Fellow strugglers
Supporting one another,
Mutual achievers
Caring what happens to each other,
Pals
Playing together,
Lovers
Being together.

We are different sides
Of the same coin.

That's happiness.

Carole Bos

FIVE WAYS TO STOP SABOTAGING YOURSELF

It seems so many people are feeling dissatisfied in their lives. We hear it daily on the many newscasts about individuals making so many negative choices: from dishonesty, to addictions, to murders, to suicides etc. More so, we hear it closer to home, such as in our neighborhoods, workplaces and in our social situations. And, many of you reading this are struggling with general dissatisfaction and discouragement.

When we feel this way we tend to make decisions that hurt us in one way or another. What can we do to feel more satisfied and in control of our lives? Well, for starters, since we can not control all the external events that occur, let’s start with an aspect we can do something about: ourselves! This is one area you DO have the power to effect positive change!

First and foremost I encourage you to become aware of what you are telling yourself…your internal dialogue. Whether you are conscious of it or not, you are chattering to yourself all the time. Unfortunately, most people don’t take the time to notice the quality of their internal chattering. Pay attention. Stop and take a moment every hour and check in with your internal dialogue. Notice if it is critical or nurturing. If you are being hard on yourself, correct your dialogue. The more patient, kind and encouraging you can be with yourself; the better you will feel and behave. Your internal messages are central to your ability to live a more full and productive life.

Secondly, it is essential to identify your values and goals. How can you attain the life you want if you are not clear about what is most important to you? Just going through the motions of daily life is living passively. As I state in my book, “one is often so busy doing life that it is easy to avoid evaluating whether you are putting your energy in the directions you value most.” Taking time to gain clarity about what is important to you is essential. As you are more aware of what you value, then you create goals that will adhere to and reinforce those values. Goal setting is a way of assuring that you are progressing in a manner that aligns with your values

Thirdly, pay attention to your behaviors. We have all heard the saying “actions speak louder than words.” Well, what are your actions saying about you? Do you like what your behaviors are saying? Are your actions in harmony with your values? It is great to know what you value. However, a key element to stop self-sabotaging is to behave in ways that emerge from your values. If you don’t take responsibility for how you are living your life it will be hard to feel satisfied. You may on occasion (or by accident) feel happy, however, it will usually be short lived. The best way to insure you achieve the greatest satisfaction out of life is to behave intentionally. Many clients tell me they put their head in the sand to avoid dealing with reality. Take your head out of the sand and live on purpose!

Fourthly, be more selective in your relationships. Our friendships mirror us. They are reflections of who we are at some level. It is imperative that you take responsibility in all your relationship choices. Are your friendships in alignment with your values? Are they helping or hindering you in achieving your goals? The people you choose to spend close personal time with need to be people that encourage you more than discourage you. I often hear people say “well, you can’t pick your family,” which is true, however, that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate hurtful or inappropriate behaviors. Even with family you have to learn to set limits and boundaries. You can control how much time you spend with them and what activities you are comfortable participating in with them.

The crux of how you can stop sabotaging yourself is to start living intentionally and on purpose. Stop just reacting to life and start paying attention. That is the essence of being the active director of your life – paying attention. If you begin by consciously focusing on these four areas you will start to feel more satisfied. All of these areas are always your responsibility no matter what the circumstances are in your life. Life ebbs and flows, sometimes in more pleasant ways than other times. No matter what is occurring you always have a choice of how to respond. Choose to live each day knowing that you and your life are your responsibility and that you deserve to live as full and complete as possible.

Written by: Deborah Day, M.A., Author of “Be Happy Now! Become the Active Director of Your Life.

Invest In Yourself

If you are interested in personal development it is important you commit to investing in yourself. No matter what it is you want to improve, no matter what you want to achieve, it will almost certainly require an investment or will be much better and be achieved much quicker with the right investment. Start by listing the areas of improvement to which you wish to commit. This can be in a very wide area, and I am not limiting myself at all to one particular niche. Have a look at my previous articles.

Take a look around and see what resources are out there which could help you make serious inroads on those improvements you desire. Examine them carefully. There are a lot of scams out there, but there are also a lot of diamonds if you look carefully enough. Try to find at least one for each of the areas on your list. Don’t worry at this stage about how much money they may cost. All that should concern you right now is whether you believe they will help you achieve your goals better or faster, or both.

Once you have come up with the list of investments you want to make in yourself and are reasonably comfortable that, at least for now, this is a fairly complete list, the next step is to work out how you will pay for them. One problem many people have, though, is that after they have paid all their monthly bills there is no money left to invest in themselves. What may surprise you, though, is that no matter how much you earn you will almost certainly still find there is no money left after paying the bills. How can this be?

 Parkinson’s Second Law The answer lies in Parkinson’s Second Law. You have probably heard his First Law – “work expands to fill the available time”. But perhaps you missed the Second Law – “expenditure rises to meet the available income”. Parkinson’s Second Law is often applied to bureaucracies and they way they can needlessly spend our money. But it is equally applicable to personal expenditure. The corollary of Parkinson’s Second Law is that if you look carefully at your spending you will always find cuts you can make without impacting noticeably on your overall lifestyle. Your first step should therefore be to examine your budget very carefully.

Pretend you are a business which is not making profit. Step back and look at that business as if you were the finance director (or maybe the bank manager!). I think you will be surprised by some of the cuts you could make and still continue to enjoy life just as much. Pay Yourself First Once you have done this, regard yourself as your own primary creditor. You owe yourself a lot of money, so start paying it back. Pay yourself first. Before you pay anyone else. Do not feel guilty about doing this. Every day of your adult life up to now you have paid everyone except yourself. Now it is your turn! How much should you pay yourself?

Well, that depends, of course. It depends on many factors. Not least of which is how much you managed to save off your budget – make sure at least half of this goes to you. Some coaches suggest it should be a minimum of 10% of your gross earnings. But again I stress this depends on your own circumstances and budget. Just don’t allow it to be whittled down to almost nothing! Put it in savings and investments that you resolve not to touch except when investing in yourself. Create a Second Income

Whether you work for someone else or have your own business you should consider ways of creating a second income. You can then reserve most of this new income to invest in yourself (well, the profit on it - as there will always be expenses). One way you can do this is to set up an online marketing business. There are some major advantages of choosing this route rather than, for example, finding an additional part time job somewhere.

The first advantage is that you will be completely in control. You can invest as much or as little time as you like. As your business grows you may decide to give up your "day job" and spend all your working hours moving your internet business forward - but that is entirely up to you. There will be no boss looking over your shoulder telling you to speed things up or do things differently. Of course, you should also recognise this can be a disadvantage - you will need to have some good self-discipline to ensure you spend enough time doing the right things.

The second advantage is linked to the first. You do not have to work on specific days or at specific times. You can choose when to do this work. If you wake up in the middle of the night and cannot get back to sleep you can sit at the computer and do something to move your online business forward.

 The third advantage is that once you have set up your business properly it will begin to generate profits for you even if you do not put a lot of effort in to grow it. You will need to continue doing some work in order to maintain it, so I do not believe it is correct to call it "passive income", but it should certainly generate you high profits for not a great deal of work as long as you have built it correctly.

Be aware, though, that as with any other business an online marketing business will require you to invest time and effort. Do not be misled by claims you will often see that suggest this is a miracle "instant millionaire" formula. It is not! You can certainly become very wealthy if you choose to do so, but this will not happen over night. You will also probably find there will be a few false starts before you get your own formula right. Ideally you should take advice from an internet marketing coach who has been there and done that and who can stop you needing to re-invent the wheel yourself.

This will not be cheap, but it will save you making costly mistakes and ultimately ensure you reach your goal faster if you choose the right coach. Invest in Yourself Once you have started this habit of paying yourself first, and have perhaps additionally created your second income, start to invest with this money. Not in company shares. Not in bricks and mortar. You are going to invest in something far more valuable than that. You are going to invest in yourself!

How to Create Your Own Luck

"Luck is simply the end result of consistent, persistent effort towards a meaningful goal."
~Tristan Loo

Almost all the people I've interviewed who considered themselves failures in life, blamed bad luck as being responsible for their life's failures. Surprisingly, when I interviewed the most successful people I know, they also related similar stories of misfortune, hardships and tragedy in their lives similar to those who considered themselves to be failures. The difference between the two types of people was that the highly successful people saw their misfortunes as crucial steps closer in the direction of their goals, while those "unlucky" people chose to blame their misfortunes and not take responsibility for their lives. This article will discuss the concept of luck and how to attract more luck into your life.

What is luck?
Princeton University Dictionary defines luck as being an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that causes an event, good or ill, to result in a person's life. I tend to disagree with this definition. I define luck as simply being the end result of consistent, persistent effort towards a meaningful goal.
A good example of this is in the 1995 movie Apollo 13. There is a point in the movie where things were going disastrously wrong for the crew of the spacecraft Apollo 13 and the NASA Director comments, "This could be the worst disaster that NASA's ever faced." NASA Flight Manager, Gene Kranz, played by Ed Harris overhears this comment and proudly retorts, "With all due respect, Sir, I believe that this is gonna be our finest hour." Both NASA command and the crew of Apollo 13 turned their "bad luck" into good luck with consistent, persistent effort towards a meaningful goal.

Case Studies of the Luckiest Unlucky People Alive
Arguably the luckiest person in the world, Evelyn Adams did the unimaginable. In 1985, she won the New Jersey state lottery for $2.4 million dollars. Then in the following year, she won the 1986 New Jersey lottery again for another 3 million dollars. Now ask any mathematician at the sheer statistical impossibility of this ever occurring. Adam's total winnings were $5.4 million dollars. With such luck like that, we would have thought that she'd be retired and traveling the world enjoying paradise, right? Wrong. Today, Adams is broke and living in a run-down trailer after having lost all of her money towards her gambling additions and to greedy friends and relatives.
Another lucky fellow is William "Bud" Post who won a whopping $16.2 million dollars in the 1988 Pennsylvania lottery. With that kind of money, he should have been stress-free for the rest of his life, but instead, Post is now broke and living off of a $450 dollar per month social security check and food stamps. After he became the lucky winner of the $16.2 million dollars, his former girlfriend successfully sued him, he got suckered into a bunch of bad business ventures with his siblings, and his brother hired a hit-man to murder him. In little more than a year's time, Post had lost everything and was one-million dollars in debt.
According to the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, nearly one-third of all lottery winners become bankrupt. The reason why so many lucky lotto winners go bankrupt is that they really never developed the mindset to accept wealth into their lives. They never developed any real money consciousness--the internal ability to create and sustain wealth. They weren't comfortable enough to accept their wealth and so their subconscious mind forced them to go back to their comfort zone, which in their case was based not in abundance, but rather in scarcity.

The Successful Create Their Own Luck
Herein lies the main concept of this article: Highly successful people create their own luck, while unsuccessful people wish, hope, and pray that luck will find them.
The truth is that highly successful people experience more luck that those who fail because they work hard to put themselves in the right place at the right time, rather than hoping that their life will somehow cross paths with fortune. Those who fail in life might fall into the right place at the right time, but they won't recognize it when they do and they won't be able to repeat it afterwards. To the outside world, it might seem that successful people appear to have all the easy breaks in life, but in reality, they work incredibly hard to put themselves in the path of those breaks.

Keep Firing and You're Guaranteed to Hit the Bulls-Eye
Imagine you're holding a pistol and you're pointing it at a target 100 yards down range. Unless you're an expert marksman, there's only a small statistical probability that you're going to hit the bulls eye the first time. But if you keep firing and correcting your aim, the law of statistical probability dictates that eventually you must hit the bull's-eye. Creating luck in your life obeys the same law of statistical probability--if you keep performing actions that lead towards your goal, eventually you are going to reach that goal. So luck in life is guaranteed, you just have to be willing to try enough times.

Practical Tips for Attracting Luck Into Your Life
Through my years of consulting and coaching clients, I have distilled some secrets about creating luck and success in life. The ability to consistently attract luck into your life is a way of life--a pattern of thinking that you must adopt for yourself. Once you integrate these secrets into your life on a daily basis, then I guarantee that you will attract a greater amount of fortune and happiness into your life as well.

1. Identify your target and keep firing. Rarely does anyone hit a bulls-eye on their first try and those that do hit it usually can't repeat those results. But if identify your target and you put enough bullets down-range, then by the law of statistics, eventually you have to hit the bulls-eye. It's guaranteed, so keep firing.

2. Keep a luck diary. At the end of each day, spend a couple of minutes reflecting back on your day and write down all the positive things that happened to you during the course of the day, whether or not you created it yourself, or it happened by chance. Everyday, just keep adding to that list. In a couple of months, you will see exactly how lucky you really are. It's a powerful motivating tool that I highly recommend as part of your life journaling practices.

3. Be someone else's luck. Luck doesn't work if you only wish it upon yourself. Be willing to be someone else's luck. Be the person to lend a helping hand. Be someone's hero. When you become someone else's luck, then it allows that universal energy to circulate and it eventually returns back to you in abundance. If you block that circular flow of energy by being selfish, then you'll prevent good things from coming back to you. Give from the heart and you will attract luck into your life.

4. Be willing to take risks. Those that consider themselves to be unlucky are stuck in their comfortable little daily routines that they can't break free from. They fear change and they fear anything that is new or different. On the other hand, those people who are "lucky" seek out new things, challenges and opportunities. They are prepared to take risks and they are quick to recognize new opportunities when they come along.

5. Believe that you are lucky. The law of attraction states that you will attract into your life that which you focus on. If you're in a constantly negative state of mind where you believe that the only luck you get is bad luck, then you'll attract even more negative luck into your life. Conversely, if you are constantly in a positive state of mind and look at the bright side of every situation, then you'll attract good things into you life.

6. Develop and trust your intuition. Lucky people learn to listen to and trust their intuition also known as their "gut feeling." They go with what feels right inside. They also spend a great deal of time developing and focusing their intuition through journaling, art, and meditation.

7. Know what makes you happy. This is a simple, common sense point, but surprisingly many people out there really don't know what genuinely makes them happy in life. Some might think that money makes them happy, when in reality it's healthy relationships that make them happy. If you don't know what makes you happy in life, then you will never recognize good fortune in that area when it presents itself. Remember that 80% of luck is identifying it when it comes into your life.

8. Create flexible plans. Planning and setting goals attracts good luck into your life, but improper planning or no planning at all will inevitably result in bad luck sprouting in your life. You have to expect that things won't go smoothly in your efforts to pursue your dreams and it's your ability to create flexible plans that accounts for these variables that produces success.
© Copyright 2006 by Tristan Loo. All rights reserved.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/380192

How to Forget the Past and Live in the Present Moment

When your nights are long and you have sleepless nights. When your days are weary and fruitless, when all your efforts tend to go with the wind, it's time to rethink about your life and put the past behind you.

There is no one who doesn't want to be happy but many times our past weighs us down and gives us a bleak picture of the future. Happiness means that you have to forget your past failures, frustrations, unmet goals, disappointments and all other things that would bring unhappiness in your life. When you dwell on the past, you waste so much energy which you would have used to accomplish your dreams.

At one time or another in your life, you have said to yourself "I wish I did not do this or that" or '"I wish this did not happen" "I wish I had thought ahead of time" "I wish this sickness did not befall me" "I wish I knew" but do all these wishes add any value to your life? They don't. Instead, they make you feel hopeless, frustrated and a loser in life. But is that the end of you? NO. What you need to do is to turn your tables around and start life a fresh.

A wise man once said that "the great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction are we moving. With this kind of hope you can accomplish so much in life than you had ever thought.

How to forget the past

In the 21st century there are a lot of challenges faced by people in all walks of life on daily basis. Many are always in a grip of inertia just because of their past. You may not want to recall or revisit what happened in the past just because of the pain and sorrow that it may bring to you, but it is important to learn from it and try to resolve it, rather than letting it to eat you up from within. In order to forget the past, there are a couple of things that you must have in mind.

Change starts with you: you can change your pasts mentally, but you can't change it physically. So it is ideal to embrace the present and forget your past failure.

Don't believe what somebody said about you: you may have been abused, bullied or demeaned. All these can lower your self-esteem or even make you not to even think of yourself. So it's important to focus on your present life rather than dwelling on what people say about you.

Always have friends who will be there for you: never mind about those people who did not respect you or appreciate you. You have to let go and appreciate your living in present time. Friends always give a shoulder to lean on so you have to stick to true mates.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7447940

2013- A Year to Embrace Personal Development

4 Ways to Stay Resilient that I Learned from My Dog

I have never been an easygoing person. Not once has anyone ever described me as laid back. I always assumed it wasn’t in my DNA to be calm and peaceful. When things went wrong, it destroyed me. I had coping skills, but they weren’t effective, unless you consider drowning your sorrows in bottles of wine and pans of brownies healthy. Sad but true, when things didn’t go my way or my expectations weren’t met, I felt desperately inept at holding myself together.

I kept waiting for my life to change–for things to start going my way. And that’s when I finally realized that life doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t simply go the way you want it to, no matter how much you wish or pray about it, and even sometimes no matter how hard you work at it. More often than not, life is simply hard. You don’t often get what you want, and most of us certainly don’t get what we deserve. We just get what we get. It’s how we cope with it, embrace it, and learn from it that makes us whole or broken.
Once I realized this, it was a slow awakening. I didn’t simply understand one day and wake up changed. Just like the reality of the alarm clock in the morning, I tried to deny it. I hit snooze. Pulled the covers over my head. Chased the last bits of darkness and dreams. But eventually, as is always true, I had to wake up and live my life.

Funnily enough, I took my cues on changing the way I lived from my dog. After all, she is happy all the time, so who better to look to for ways to live life? So I started to live like her.

1.     Embrace the morning.
I noticed that every morning, my dog wakes up happy and realized there’s no reason I can’t, too. She’s always snuggly and wagging and excited that it’s a new day. Instead of waking each morning and wishing my life were different, I decided to wake up thinking of it as a new beginning. No matter what has happened the day before, the morning is always a new opportunity—to change your attitude, your mood, your mind. That was a decision I had to make, a practice to put into play. I talked myself through it everyday until I didn’t need reminders anymore. Now, my puppy and I awake to stretch our limbs, get some good snuggles, and go outside for some fresh air. Each morning, regardless of whether it’s cold outside or I’m especially sleepy, is a fresh start.

2.     Use your senses.
Every time I walk the pup, she’s constantly sniffing, listening, alert. I realized that I never paid attention to my surroundings. I was always too busy brooding—looking at my feet or my phone or just lost in negative thoughts. Now, I’m present in each moment of my day. I look up at the sky to notice its blueness and the way the clouds stretch across the horizon. I take deep breaths, inhale the crisp winter air, and give thanks. I listen to the last of the leaves crunching underfoot, and cuddle into the softness of my scarf. It makes me grateful for the small things.

3.     Sing!
Let me preface this by telling you: I am not a singer. But, my dog absolutely adores it when I sing. She wags her whole body when I sing to her each morning and cuddles right up to me during her lullaby each night. I sing Taylor Swift and Queen and Sir Mix-a-lot and butcher every last lyric and note. But guess what? It makes her—and me—happy. You can’t belt out Bohemian Rhapsody and stay in a bad mood. It’s a scientific fact. Ok, maybe not, but it’s true for me.

4.     Show affection.
No matter what has happened in my day, my puppy is always glad to see me. She wags. She jumps. She gives kisses and cuddles. She cuddles up to me when I sit on the couch and sits on my lap when I work from home. While her affection doesn’t exactly translate into my world, I take a cue from her by smiling at people on the street, saying good morning, holding doors open, and paying compliments to friends and strangers alike. Not surprisingly, it makes me feel good to make others feel good. To send my sister a “just because” card, bring my co-worker his favorite snack, pick up the tab when I get coffee with a friend—it all makes me a happier person.

How does this translate into resilience? Well, I’m a happier person. Not because I have the perfect job or family or friends. Not because I have loads of money or my ideal figure or an amazing apartment. Not because I’m dating the man of my dreams or getting married or having a child. I’m happier because I’m grateful. I realize that for all the things I don’t have in my life, there are hundreds, maybe even thousands, more to appreciate.

 When things don’t go the way I’d hoped, it doesn’t destroy me because I can recognize that there’s so much I have that is good, and there are so many reasons to be happy. I allow myself to feel sad or hurt or angry, but it doesn’t consume me. I feel it, and then I move on from it. I wake up to a new day, sing to my puppy, and say hello to my neighbors while the first snowflakes swirl around me.  I can see the bigger picture and realize that these are all small moments in a much greater scene.

 Rather than pursuing happiness, I’m just letting myself be happy.
——–
Melissa Woodson is the community manager for @WashULaw, a Masters of Law in U.S. Law offered through Washington University in St. Louis that is considered a premier LLM degree. In her spare time, she enjoys running, cooking, and making half-baked attempts at training her dog. You may find her personal blog at hungryhealthymj.com or follow her on twitter @hungryhealthyMJ.

Tis The Season To Be Jolly, Sober and Clean

Holiday times can be challenging for families and for someone in recovery.
For the families, there is that dreaded fear that the planned occasions will not go as planned. They want the family celebrate, but are fearful of those who do not know when enough is enough. In some families, there is good old Uncle Jack who gets belligerent after a few and causes a scene, or cousin Patty who just makes a total fool out of herself at every family get together as she is either drunk or stoned, and then there is the beloved elephant in the room... someone hasn't shown up for the festivities again, but no one wants to say anything about it, or it might draw attention to their absence.
For the one in recovery, it may be the same scenario, however his/her motivation, is to make it through the holidays still in recovery with no relapses under his/her belt and therefore they want to avoid these types of situations without looking like they are anti-social, judging others and acting holier than thou.
Either way, it can be tough. Either way, my suggestion would be to protect you first and foremost. SELF CARE is so important. It is the one gift you can give yourself.
When you practice self-care, you essentially become better mothers, fathers, brothers, daughters, spouses, and better company. When you surround yourself with like minded people, you can breathe over the holidays and actually enjoy the festivities. The food will taste better, the music will sound nicer, and you will relax about what might or could happen.
You are now in control of what you will allow to happen. You will dictate who you want to be with and who you do not want to be with. If someone else has an issue with that decision, then it is their issue, not yours. If you are truly practicing good self-care, you will be doing your best to ensure that you are creating an environment that supports your well being too.
Look for support around the holidays. Part of good self -care is surrounding yourself with good people, who understand your concerns and your commitment to your self.
Go to functions that support your self-care too or organize your own party and include the people who are dear to you and make you feel comfortable and relaxed.

Good company, good food, good belly laughs and good memories.
Remember: Tis the season to be Jolly... Falalalalalala!

You can have a great Holiday season, if you plan to have a great holiday season. The choice is yours.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7412495

How to Live in the Moment

Life today seems to move at an ever-increasing pace, and shows no sign of slowing down. Mobile devices make it easier than ever for your boss to expect to contact you outside of work, and many of us can’t even disconnect long enough to get a real vacation.
Unfortunately, stress like this can wear you down and make you much less productive.
Living in the moment seems like a pipe-dream, but it can be the exact prescription you need to regain your motivation and work productivity. Simply slowing down throughout your day to enjoy small moments can help you remember what it is you’re
working for in the first place. Here are 6 tips to help you do just that.

• Pay Attention to Your Body. The knot in your stomach, the tension in your shoulders, and the ache in your neck are all telling you something important. Take a moment to pay close attention to your body. Feel what’s there, and find out what it’s telling you. Do you need a break? A stretch? When you meet your body’s physical needs, you’ll be far more successful in your work.

• Forget Multitasking. The idea that you can actually do multiple things at once is a myth. Studies have shown that what happens is your mind simply changes focus very rapidly between tasks. This tires the mind and dramatically reduces productivity. Choose one task and be fully present doing it. Then move on. You’ll make fewer mistakes while getting more done.

• Practice Gratitude. If there’s anything we lack in our advanced society, its thankfulness. Take some time to think about and be truly thankful for the good things in your life. Even write them down. Studies have shown that gratitude will improve your mood, your motivation, and your performance. It will also help you enjoy the present moment more.

• Breathe. Nothing helps slow down a stressful day than taking a few minutes to focus on breathing. Just close your eyes, take deep, full breaths, and think about how it feels. You’ll become more present in your body and in your environment. In addition, your stress will drop dramatically.

• Observe. Many mistakes we make are simply due to not paying attention. We walk by people and don’t even see them, or miss a turn because we were thinking about something else. Take a day and fully observe everything around you as you work and play. You’ll find amazing things you never saw before, and you may even come up with solutions to some tough problems!

• Unplug. Technology is often our Achilles heel when it comes to slowing down and enjoying the moment. Whether it’s our boss, a friend, or our spouse, it seems like everyone wants to reach us at a moment’s notice. Take some time for a technology vacation. Turn off the phone, the television, and the computer. Enjoy games and talk and fun with family or friends instead. These are the moments you’ll remember and cherish.

Being in the moment in our busy world is not an easy task, but it’s incredibly rewarding. Be patient with your attempts – your mind will often wander. However, the benefit you’ll gain from these six easy tips will enhance your life and your work in incredible ways. Be present!

About the Author: Steph Potter is a mother of two, an avid runner, and a freelance writer. In her spare time, she enjoys meditating to find her center

Simple Ways to Live Happy

They say that the mind is a very powerful tool; and indeed this has been proven in countless occasions in our lives. The truth is, the power of the mind is limitless- as our thoughts indirectly, and yet undeniably, affects our careers, our relationships- our lives. The life we live every day is set into motion by our thoughts. Our attitude, our reaction are reflections, if not manifestations of what we think: what we think we want; what we think is right, what we think we deserve.
So how do we take control of our days with our thoughts and how do we set the direction of our lives to the pace and direction we want? Here are 3 simple ways to start and go through your day right.
1. Think positive. This can mean a couple of things and this generally differs on the circumstance. Take for example case 1: when something bad happened the previous night, we have this tendency to dwell on it, sleep on it and carry the negativity of yesterday to the morning after. In this case, thinking positive would mean waking up and thinking how today could be the day where things will work out or that today could be the day when you will figure out a way to solve something that has been bothering you. Case 2: when you have had a good time the previous day, carry over that feeling of fulfillment, that lighthearted state of being to the day ahead of you.
2. Learn the art of turning lemons to lemonade. This principle applies to our thoughts as well. Of course, we can't help but have negative thoughts. The trick is to learn how to convert these negative thoughts into positive ones. Take for example case 3: You have found a job in a good company. You are being compensated and the benefits are really attractive. Then after a few days into your job, you realize that you have a bi polar boss who seems to enjoy yelling at everyone at all hours of the day. Instead of cussing and feeling very negative about it, think of it as a learning experience wherein you will learn how to successfully deal and communicate with these type of people.
3. Learn to express negative feelings in a productive way. A negative state of being is caused by an emotion: it may be anger, discontent, annoyance or hate. But since all emotions can be channeled, learn to direct your emotions in ways that can help you become a better person. Take for example case 4: You are feeling very discontented by the way your financial state of living is. Instead of dwelling on how sad you are thinking about all the things you cannot afford, think of the countless of ways you can change your finances. Take a second job, do online work, learn a new skill, learn a new language- become more than you already are and do all that you can to change the cause of your discontent.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/7374874

What is 'Happy' ?

The top line: People who have one or more close friendships appear to be happier. It doesn’t seem to matter if we have a large network of close relationships or not. What seems to make a difference is if and how often we cooperate in activities and share our personal feelings with a friend or relative. Simply put, it’s not the quantity of our relationships, but the quality that matters.
In 2002, two pioneers of Positive Psychology, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, conducted a study at the University of Illinois on the 10% of students with the highest scores recorded on a survey of personal happiness. They found that the most salient characteristics shared by students who were very happy and showed the fewest signs of depression were “their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.” (“The New Science of Happiness,” Time Magazine, Claudia Wallis, Jan. 09, 2005).
In one study people were asked on random occasions about their mood. They were found to be happiest with their friends, followed by family members, and least happy if they were alone (Larson). Another study constructed a scale of cooperativeness, ie how willing people were to constructively engage in activities with others. This study showed that the cooperativeness of an individual was a predictor of their happiness, though it did not conclusively show if their cooperation resulted in happiness or the other way around (Lu). A study on the quality of relationships found that to avoid loneliness people needed only one close relationship coupled with a network of other relationships. To form a close relationship required a growing amount of “self-disclosure,” or a willingness to reveal ones personal issues and feelings, and without it people with friends would still be lonely (Weiss). A similar study found that some students who had many friends with whom they often spent time were still plagued by loneliness, and this seemed to be related to their tendency to talk about impersonal topics such as sports and pop music instead of their personal life

How to improve confidence

Because self confidence and feeling good has a major 'hormonal' element, you can change the way you feel by re-living good times. If you can remember a time you felt really self confident, then excellent - use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy. Taking deliberate control of your thoughts and emotions will have an huge impact on your self confidence and other areas of your life.